Mommy's Little Angel
by ttfan111robstar1
Summary: Castiel gets an unexpected visitor and it changes his life and his family forever. Contains infantilism.
1. Part 1

**Author's Note: Hello dear readers! It's good to be back with a new fic for you all! I hope you enjoy this fic!**

For the residents of Lebanon, Kansas today was just another day in their lives. It was ordinary, plain, and unsurprising. But for three of the city's residents today would be anything but. Beneath an abandoned power plant in the Men Of Letters bunker, Sam and Dean Winchester and their friend Castiel were going about their business. Dean was in the kitchen getting a beer while Sam was in the library reading. That left one member of their group out.

Castiel was wandering the corridors of the bunker aimlessly. He had a sneaking suspicion that something was going to happen today. Something big. Thus he paced from room to room, trying to outrun his anxieties. When pacing didn't soothe his frayed nerves, he decided he needed a drink and ended up in the kitchen with Dean. He scoured the kitchen, looking for something stronger than beer. During his search Sam also entered the kitchen. After an all nighter doing research, he needed to wake up, and started brewing a pot of coffee. Finally, Castiel found a bottle of Whiskey. He didn't bother with a glass and just started drinking, savoring the flash burn of the whiskey going down his throat. Dean and Sam looked at one another when they saw this, but said nothing. If Cas wanted to talk, he would.

Abruptly, there came a knock at the door.

Dean and Sam looked at each other once more, confused. Castiel felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. This was it. He couldn't explain the knowing that came with it, didn't think it could ever be understood, but he went to the door. Whatever this was, he was going to face it head on. Instantly, he was by the door, preparing himself to attack if necessary. He didn't realize that he was still holding the bottle of whiskey as he opened the door. He was hopelessly unprepared for what he saw.

Dean and Sam heard the shattering of glass and ran for the door. Castiel stood frozen in shock as he stared at the woman at the front door. She was of average height with long, glossy black hair, piercing blue eyes, Flushed cheeks, ruby lips, and pale skin. Her teeth were perfectly white and straight as she smiled at Castiel. Her eyes were large and pretty, and surprisingly intense, but the intensity was overshadowed by the kindness shining in them. Dressed in a black suit with matching pumps, she seemed overdressed and out of place in their current environment. The only jewelry she donned were a solitaire diamond necklace, matching earrings, and an intricate and exquisitely crafted diamond wedding ring that sparkled on her left ring finger.

Not even a minute had passed, and no one had any comprehension of what was going on. None but the smiling woman in the doorway. Dean immediately assessed her, as did Sam. She didn't look like a threat. Then again, many of the monsters they faced never did. However, the chain of the necklace around her neck appeared to be silver, so that did eliminate a couple of possibilities. He wanted to go over to her, but the fact that Castiel had dropped a bottle in surprise and hadn't moved a muscle since seeing her gave him pause. He knew her, that much was certain. But enough to lead her to the bunker? That remained unclear. He decided to wait and see what Cas did. Sam however, didn't see her as a threat and grabbed a nearby mop to clean up the whiskey. It didn't take long, and Sam quickly swept up the glass. Castiel was frozen in place. It seemed as if he'd never move. Finally, the woman at the door spoke up.

"No hello? Is that any way to greet your-"

"Mother..." Castiel whispered, awed.

Dean and Sam exchanged shocked looks. The woman at the door smiled at him warmly.

"I didn't think you recognized me." She said, slightly saddened.

"I-I I... I thought that..."

"That I was dead? You thought what your father wanted you to think. I've just been in hiding. But I have been here, Castiel. And I have watched your every movement."

At her words, Castiel broke eye contact with her. He felt ashamed that she had seen some of the things he had done. She gently lifted his chin to make him look at her.

"And I have loved every second of it."

Confusion clouded his eyes and he looked at her, dumbfounded.

"How can you say that after everything I've done?" Her blue eyes were sharp, not missing a thing, and he was certain that she was looking right into his soul.

"Darling, I may not approve of every decision you made but I know you did the best you could. That's what matters." She said with a smile.

Somehow the words lifted an invisible weight from his shoulders, and made him believe her. Maybe he wasn't such a screw up after all. Staring into her eyes, he felt an unfamiliar emotion rise up in his chest: _Hope_. This wasn't a dream. She was here- she was _real_. Joy, relief, and love burst open inside of him, The feelings seemed to have burst from a dam, walled up for years as the sentiments built up inside of the barriers, now were set free, and it took all of his strength to not throw himself at her and burst into tears. Before he realized what he was doing, he pulled her into a tight hug, unable to find the right words for the lethal cocktail of emotions slamming through his body. She didn't hesitate to hug him back, and he was met with the unmistakable scent of his mother's favorite perfume. It took him back thousands of years, back to his childhood, where he was simply a son and nothing more. His love for her, his missing of her, and the empty place in his heart that only she could fill had helped to shape him. It had hardened him to the world, made him colder and jaded. But her love had allowed him to love others and forgive them. So much of who he was had been shaped by her. Now, to see her again, to be holding her in his arms, it was overwhelming.

His mother sensed his feelings and inner turmoil and gently stroked his hair. There was a feeling of completeness that came with holding her child again after so many years apart. She reveled in the moment, knowing that this was why she had fought to stay alive. Each of her children were so special to her, each had their own unique gifts and talents, but Castiel had always held a special place in her heart. Her youngest child, he had needed her more than the rest of her children did. When she had had to go into hiding and leave him behind, it was the worst thing she had ever had to do. But she had watched over him throughout his entire life, and couldn't have been more proud of the man he had become.

"Mom..." Came the disbelieving whisper.

"I'm here, baby." She said in Enochian, hoping that hearing his native tongue would calm him.

A lump formed in Castiel's throat. "I missed you, Mommy." He replied in the same fashion.

"I missed you too."

For a long time, there was quiet in the room.

When mother and son parted again, both were smiling. Finally, Castiel remembered that they weren't alone. He stepped aside to reveal Sam and Dean, who were looking at them with carefully masked curiosity.

"Sam, Dean, this is my mother Abrielle."

Abrielle smiled at them. "I finally get to meet the famous Winchester boys. It's an honor." She said, reaching out to shake Dean's hand. He smiled at her and shook it, and Sam followed.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, ma'am." Dean said.

"And you." She replied.

"If you don't mind my asking, how did you find us?" Asked Sam. Abrielle laughed.

"My husband documents every day of your lives. It wasn't difficult to find you."

"Husband?" Sam repeated as if he hadn't heard her correctly. "You mean God's married?"

"Not in the traditional sense. I was created to be his wife and to be a mother to all the angels. But I've been more of a mother than a wife. I had to go into hiding some hundred years back, but even before that we were never really a couple. Our relationship was never one of equals. But it doesn't matter. I'm a mother first. That's what counts."

Sam nodded, impressed. Dean happened to glance at Castiel, who was staring at his mother in the most innocent way. He had to do a double take to make sure what he saw was correct. It was. When she turned back and saw the look on his face an invisible flashed through her eyes and she gave her son an almost imperceptible nod before turning to Sam and Dean.

"I hate to intrude, but do you boys mind if I have some time alone with my son?" She asked sweetly.

"Not at all." Dean said quickly. He showed them to one of the bunkers many bedrooms. He closed the door and quickly dragged his brother away so that the two of them could have some much needed quiet time.

The second that door shut, Abrielle turned to her son. Although his vessel was a thirty-some-year-old man, the innocence and fear in his eyes made him look like a little boy. A net of shared memories passed between them, peeling back the years they were apart. For Castiel, time with his mother was something he had sorely needed more of as a boy. When she had left him when his development was that of a little boy, he had been left to the care of his father and many brothers and sisters. He had been forced to grow up so quickly with them. Only with his mother had he ever had the chance to be a child, and although the memories were clouded and fogged with age, he remembered her. He had cried for her so much in the beginning, unable to fill the void she had left in his heart. With her, his emotions were allowed to fly free instead of being contained and restricted. There were no orders to follow. He was just her son, and that was perfectly fine with her.

Castiel, normally stiff and uncomfortable around others, was perfectly relaxed as he sat with his mother. Abrielle smiled at him and pulled him to her.

"Mommy's here now." She said.

The words, just like the physical contact, were an invitation for him to drop his mask and just be her son. He leapt at the chance like a hungry dog being offered a steak. He clutched her close to himself, like a security blanket or a life preserver, fearing that she might disappear if he let her go. He could feel his eyes welling up with tears. He didn't know if they were relief, happiness, or fear, but he didn't question it. He just let them flow. Abrielle stroked his hair, singing to him in enochian, remembering how she'd used to do it when he was a small child. The motion calmed him almost instantaneously. He ended up with his head in her lap, snuggled into her. He was safe with her. Finally safe.

When the song ended, they stayed in that position for a long while. Castiel longed to find words to express the utter completeness and contentment he felt at that moment. There weren't any, so he just curled up into her even further, hoping the nestling would be enough to convey it. It did.

"My sweet baby boy." She whispered. "I missed you."

He closed his eyes, savoring the words, and felt her press a gentle kiss to his forehead. He giggled instinctively. The action brought back some cloudy, distorted, little boy memories and feelings. Before he really gave any thought to it, he started sucking his thumb. When he realized what he was doing, he was about to stop when he realized that it didn't matter. His mother wouldn't care. He happily continued sucking, nuzzling her. She laughed, and the sound warmed him from the inside out.

The sight of her son so innocent and vulnerable stirred up something inside of her. An instinct as old as time itself. She felt a desperate need to recreate those moments she missed with him. An idea struck her, and her eyes grew bright with excitement.

"Baby, would you like to go with me to my home and spend some time together there?" She asked. She sensed a lack of privacy in this place, and the two of them needed some for what she was about to ask him. He nodded, unable to make himself stop sucking his thumb. She smiled and went to find her son's best friends. The two of them were sitting in the library, talking quietly. The two of them looked up when Abrielle entered the room.

"I apologize for interrupting, but I wanted to see if I could take my son with me to spend some quality time with him."

"Absolutely." Said Dean without hesitation. She smiled a glittering smile at him.

"Thank you."

"Absolutely."

When she had left the room, Sam turned to his brother in confusion.

"Why did you say yes so quickly?" He asked. Dean looked at him, green eyes bright with a deep sadness that Sam needed a second to understand.

"If I had a second chance to be with mom again, I'd take it in a heartbeat. Cas deserves the same."

Sam nodded, and that was the end of the matter.

Abrielle went back to the room where her son sat waiting for her. When she entered he jumped to his feet, eyes happy and joyful. He reached out to hold her free hand so that she could fly them to her home. Castiel was forced to take his thumb from his mouth on the off chance that they landed outside, but the second they appeared in what seemed to be a luxurious penthouse, he shoved it back in, calming him instantly. He looked around curiously. The shag carpeting was a deep red color, and all of the couches were Snow White. There was a chandelier in the foyer, and a flat screen TV in the living room. There was a chrome kitchen not far from where he was standing. An entire side of the wall was made of glass, looking out over the city. Across from him was a pair of French doors. His mother walked over and opened them, waving him toward her. He followed her into the master bedroom, which was probably the size of the bunkers library. She went over to the closet and opened up the doors. It was a walk in closet that looked half as big as the room itself. Castiel stared at his mother curiously. She sat on a nearby ottoman and patted the seat next to her. He sat down, looking at her. She smiled at him, and took a deep breath in.

"I want to ask you something, darling. I'm just not sure how you'll take it."

He looked at her in a way that told her to go on.

"I had to go into hiding for my own safety. If people had known who I was or what I could do, I could have been taken advantage of. Leaving you and your brothers and sisters was one of the hardest things I have ever done. Every single day I watched all of you suffer because of me, and it broke my heart. You were so young when I left and I never got the chance to take care of you the way I wanted to and the way you deserved. I want a second chance if you'll give me one. To give you the childhood your brothers and sisters had. You could be my baby again... I've wanted that for so long. Will you give it to me?"

For a moment Castiel just stared at her fixedly. His face gave away nothing. It was tactfully emotionless, no doubt as his father had intended. For a moment she felt fear ice her blood and she wondered if she had just made a terrible mistake. Then, he smiled at her and nodded, half hugging her with one arm. Relief swept through her, and she hugged him back.

"Alright then, sweetheart. Let's get started."

She snapped her fingers, and suddenly the entire room changed.

It was a nursery that was exactly the same as he could remember having as a small child, except on a singular scale. the nursery he remembered was set up for a dozen babies. This was set up solely for him. There was a crib, a changing table, a rocking chair, a bookshelf, a toy chest, and two dressers full of clothes. There were microwaves and bottle warmers set up on a table, and even a refrigerator that was filled with milk and fruit. The walls were a cream color, and just looking at it soothed him. His brain was overwhelmed trying to process all of his new surroundings. He didn't notice his sucking becoming more intense and fast. It wasn't until Abrielle gently pried his thumb from between his lips and stroked his cheek.

"You'll hurt yourself if you keep doing that." She admonished gently. He blushed.

"Sorry, Mom."

"Mommy." She corrected.

"What?"

"In here it's Mommy."

He nodded. "Sorry Mommy."

She smiled. "That's my baby boy. Now then, let's get you dressed in something more comfortable."

He didn't even have time to think about it before his mother was going to pick something out. He decided to just go with it and sat down in the crib. While her back was turned he slipped his thumb back into his mouth, sucking greedily.

Abrielle was quick to change her son into a fresh diaper and some new footed pajamas, and quickly replaced his thumb with a silicone pacifier. At first he grimaced at the taste, but quickly grew accustomed to it. When she was satisfied with that, she went to the toy chest, obviously digging around for something. Castiel watched her curiously, but smiled when she turned around and handed him a stuffed bee. He cuddled it to his chest.

"Do you like it?" She asked hopefully. His enthusiastic nod made her laugh.

"Good." She said, ruffling his hair.

He reached for her with his free hand and she gladly picked him up and sat down in the rocking chair, cuddling him close to her. She pressed a gentle kiss to his forehead and started singing to him. He closed his eyes, and just reveled in the moment. Abrielle almost thought he was asleep because he was so still. The only movement was from his lips as he suckled his pacifier. The moment was so perfect and picturesque it couldn't have been captured better by Hallmark. When her song ended, Castiel took the pacifier out and looked up at her.

"Mommy?"

"Yes baby?"

"Can I watch TV?"

"Sure." She instantly conjured a TV and turned it on, letting him find a show he liked while she fussed over him in a dozen little ways. She wanted to make this as special as possible for him. Ways to do that flashed through her mind. She was so focused on that that she wasn't paying attention to her son. Castiel had settled on a sitcom. Reruns of the show were playing on the TV, and he happily watched the show. However, when one of the characters made their first appearance, he froze. The man greatly resembled Gabriel, and it made him miss his brother terribly. Before he could stop them, two tears streamed down his cheeks. One of them landed on his mother's hand, drawing her attention away from her thoughts. At his tear stained face, she frowned.

"What's the matter, baby?" She asked, stroking his hair.

Castiel sniffed and wiped at his eyes. He looked up at her with wide blue eyes and pressed his hand to her cheek. He'd done it often as a child instead of talking. She looked into his mind and saw the painful resemblance between the actor and her son. It broke her heart.

"You miss your brother, hmmm?"

He nodded, looking up at her like she could solve his every problem. She took a deep breath to steady herself. She found conjuring objects easy, but reviving her own son? That was a bit of a stretch. But she had to try. She closed her eyes, picturing every last detail of his face. With a breath out, she attempted to revive her son.

For a second, nothing happened. And then, Gabriel appeared in all his glory.

"What the hell?" He asked.

"Gabriel! Language!" She chastised.

"Sorry, Mom." He said, automatically. When he realized what he'd said, he looked up, doing a double take to make sure of what he was seeing. "Mom...?" He asked, shocked.

"Hello, love." She said. The way his face lit up was something she knew she would never forget. Castiel moved off of her lap so that she could give Gabriel a hug.

"How are you even alive?" He asked.

She briefly explained what had happened to her, while Gabriel nodded. Castiel sat in the crib, impatient. When he felt left out, he made an annoyed noise. Abrielle turned to him with a smile and picked him up with ease.

"Don't worry, sweetheart. I didn't forget about you." She promised, kissing his forehead.

That was the first time Gabriel noticed his brother. More so, it was the first time he noticed the room they were in. He didn't react negatively. In fact, he tried very hard not to react at all. He was curious, but knew better than to question it while his brother was present. He watched his brother giggle and laugh as their mother kissed him repeatedly and tickled him. It made him smile unconsciously. When was the last time he had heard his brother laugh? It had been decades. To see him happy and smiling was a gift in itself. And to see him with their mother was an unexpected blessing.

He could easily recall the day when they had all been informed of Abrielle's passing. He had been in his early twenties developmentally, but Cassie had only been around two or three. He hadn't been able to understand right away that their mother wasn't coming home. When he did, he had cried for days. He and Lucifer had attended to him in those first dark days, playing with him and trying to get him to smile. Gabriel had always had a sneaking suspicion that Lucifer's hatred for their father had begun on that day. Whether consciously or unconsciously, he blamed his father for their mothers death. With a start, he realized that since she had never really died, there would be no reason for any hostility between them. Perhaps there was too much bad blood between father and son to clear the air, but maybe as brothers they had a chance.

 _They could be a real family again._

The idea was like a cancerous cell, replicating itself into a large mass that slowly consumed his mind. The hope that sprang up in him was so dizzying that he had to sit down. Maybe there was a real chance for them yet.

Abrielle was cooing Enochian to Castiel when Gabriel stood up.

"Mom?"

"Yes, dear?"

"Will you come with me somewhere?"

"Where?"

"To see Luci. He's not going to believe me if I tell him you're alive without proof."

"Honey, I can't just leave here. Your brother needs me. Why don't you bring Lucifer here instead?"

Gabriel mumbled something under his breath. Abrielle sighed.

"What was that, Gabriel?"

"I said it would be pretty hard to bring him here since he's locked in his cage."

Abrielle almost dropped the toy she'd been offering her son. Slowly, she handed Castiel the toy, picked him up in her arms, set him in his crib, and pulled up the sides. She walked over to her other son in a way that made him nervous.

"Did I hear you say _cage_?" The last word was spat out with the purest venom.

Gabriel nodded. "After you passed away Lucifer disobeyed Dad so he locked him in a cage."

Slowly, Abrielle's face contorted into an expression of rage.

"I am never leaving you kids alone with your father ever again!" She said. She whirled around and scooped Castiel into her arms. "Come on, baby. We're going to see your big brother."

Instantly, Castiel began to struggle against her, whimpering quietly. His attempts to struggle his way from her arms were fruitless. Her grip was too strong. Still, she looked at him curiously. "What's the matter, baby?"

He reached up and put his hand to her cheek. When he felt her enter his mind, he sifted through all of his encounter with his brother, and watched her eyes become confused and sad. While she wanted to keep her son close, she now understood his reluctance and set him down.

"You can stay here if you want. Your brother and I won't be gone long." She promised.

Castiel was torn. He didn't want to go visit his older brother, but he couldn't bear for his mother to leave him behind. He visibly hesitated before reaching for his mother again. She smiled at him and kissed his forehead.

"That's my boy." She said. He smiled at her and his brother and watched as she turned to Gabriel. "We'd best be going if we want to free your brother from his cage."

Gabriel nodded. "Let's go."

Abrielle used her magic to redress her son in his usual attire, but left the diaper on and slipped his pacifier into his trench coat pocket as a subtle reminder that he would always be her baby. Then, as a family, they made their way down into hell.

At the sight of Gabriel, most of the lower level demons hid or made way for him. Many of them gave less-than-thrilled looks to Castiel, but he was so focused on protecting his mother that he didn't even notice. Gabriel navigated the corridors so well it was like he had a GPS chip installed in his brain. Finally, the three of them came to the final hallway, and Castiel ran ahead to stop them from going forward any further.

"Let me start this." He pleaded. Gabriel and Abrielle looked at one another before nodding. Taking a deep breath, Castiel took one of the most frightening steps of his life and came within his brother's line of sight.

Lucifer had been busy dealing with demon contracts when he caught a glimpse of movement out of his peripheral vision. He looked over to see Castiel standing before him. A grin stretched across his face. He crossed the cage and stood before his brother.

"Hello Lucifer."

"Little brother. To what do I owe the pleasure of a visit from heaven's most wanted?"

Castiel stepped closer to him. "I came to see you."

"Obviously. But that doesn't answer my question."

"I'm not the only one here." He said. Gabriel stepped forward. Lucifer looked unsurprised.

"Gabriel. You're back from the dead I see."

"No thanks to you."

"Who do I owe the credit to, then?"

"You'll see in just a minute. But I have to ask you something."

"I've got all eternity for questions."

"What really made you leave home, Luc? We both know it wasn't just Dad's creations. It was what happened to Mom that made you go, wasn't it?" He asked solemnly. Lucifer looked at him, surprised. Castiel didn't miss the flickering of emotion in his eyes, but it was quickly covered up with sarcasm.

"Like it matters now. I made my choices and you've made yours. What's done is done. There's no turning back."

"You're wrong." Castiel found himself saying. He looked up at his older brother, eyes the picture of innocence. "It doesn't have to be like this."

"We could be a family again." Gabriel continued. Lucifer laughed.

"Like Dad would ever let that happen."

"We aren't talking about Dad. We're talking about Mom."

"What's the point in talking about her? She's gone."

"No, I'm not." A ringing voice said. Gabriel and Castiel parted to reveal Abrielle standing there in front of the cage. "Hello, Lucifer."

Lucifer's face was inscrutable. He squinted like he wasn't really sure what he was seeing. Castiel was watching him so intently that he actually saw his brother's sharp intake of breath as he realized that it was really her. His eyes widened and his body stiffened.

"Ma?" It was barely a whisper, but the word was so filled with hope that it made itself heard. She smiled and nodded, coming over to the cage and stroking his cheek affectionately. He trembled at her touch, afraid that she wasn't real. But then, when he felt her hand against his cheek and smelled her distinctive perfume, he relaxed and smiled at her. "I don't understand. What are you doing here?"

"I came to bring you home." She said gently.

"What?" He asked, completely shocked.

"We don't want you suffering down here by yourself anymore." Castiel said.

"We want our family back together." Gabriel finished. "We want our brother back." He amended.

"So now I'm your brother?" He retorted sharply. "Where were my brothers when I was facing Dad on my own? Where were you when he kicked me out and locked me up? Where were you when I needed you? Am I supposed to just forget about that now that you want to be brothers again?!"

"We've always been brothers, Luci. Even when you didn't know it." Said Gabriel quietly.

"And we both made mistakes with Dad." Castiel piped up. "That's why we left. We may have not done it when you did, but we both left eventually. You were right, and we're sorry if we ever made you feel like we weren't supporting you."

"But we're here now. And we're asking you to forgive our mistakes and be a real family again." Gabriel finished.

The gift of the words " _I'm sorry_ " was one he had been waiting for for centuries. In that moment, the old wound of his brother's abandonment finally healed completely, and he let go of all his anger and hate for his brothers. He smiled at them, and it was a real, genuine smile instead of the ones riddled with greed, sarcasm, or fake happiness. Finally, he let out the three words that had been locked inside of him for years:

"I forgive you."

The four of them exchanged smiles. Abrielle stepped up to the cage and started working on the lock. When it hit the ground with a clatter, she smiled.

"Come on, let's take you home."

 _Home_. What a way from cage that was! Smiling, he stepped out and hugged his mother, and both of his brothers. There was a sense of completeness that surrounded them, and they left hell walking side by side as a family.

When they left, Abrielle took them back to her home. As soon as they arrived Castiel switched back into his little boy mindset and instantly had his pacifier back in his mouth. He went off to the nursery, excited about all of the new things that had happened today. He ran and grabbed his bee from its place in the crib and started playing with it on the floor, not realizing that Mommy hadn't followed him in.

Abrielle took the opportunity and pulled both of her sons aside. Lucifer was still staring at the door Castiel had went through, bewildered by what he'd seen.

"What the-" before he could finish the thought, Abrielle clamped a hand over his mouth to hush him.

She took a minute to explain to both of them what was going on and how it came to be. When she told them about how guilty she felt for not being there when he was little, and the both of them understood.

It was just after this that Castiel realized that his mother wasn't there and frowned. "Mommy?" He called, uncertain. The worry that coursed through him was to the adult brain ridiculous, but to his childish mind it was very real. When he didn't hear footsteps coming toward the room right away, his fear escalated, and tears pricked at his eyes. "Mommy!" He called again. Despite himself, tears started streaming down his face.

At the sound of her son calling her, she turned to go to him, but was stopped by a hand on her shoulder. She turned to see both of her sons looking at her.

"We want to help." Said Gabriel. Lucifer nodded, and Abrielle smiled.

"Come on, then."

She rushed into the room to see her son crying on the ground with his bee clutched tightly to his chest. She easily scooped him into her arms and sat down in the rocking chair. She hushed him, but he wouldn't calm down. When she tried to give him the pacifier he loved so much, he spat it out. His anxiety was so high that he wouldn't let himself be calmed. Abrielle knew she needed a plan. She looked at her sons who were staring at them, clearly uncomfortable with the situation. She opened her connection with them and asked them to make him a bottle. Although it seemed strange considering that none of them ate, but nonetheless they complied. Gabriel handed her the bottle, and she gave him a grateful smile and put the nipple into her son's mouth. At first he thought it was a pacifier, but when he took one suck and a few drops of milk hit his tongue, he was shocked. In his surprise, instinct took over, and he kept sucking on the bottle. The warm milk relaxed him, and he closed his eyes as he focused on drawing out the milk. Abrielle breathed a sigh of relief.

When the bottle was empty, Castiel felt strangely tired. His mother sensed it, and put a hand to his forehead, and gave him the capacity to sleep. She changed him into a footed sleeper and started singing to him. Quicker than she expected, he was asleep. She set him into his crib and pulled up the sides. Then, ushering Gabriel and Lucifer out, she headed to the living room to bond with her two older sons.

The three of them gathered on the couch and talked about their lives for a long time. Three hours seemed to pass by in the blink of an eye. By the end of them, the three of them felt the way they did before she went into hiding. They were a normal family again.

Well- almost.

Castiel awoke from his nap not long after and turned onto his side. His bee lay next to him and he pulled it into his arms. He was about to call out for his Mommy when he got the niggling sensation that something wasn't quite right. And that's when he realized something unexpected- he had to go to the bathroom badly. He started squirming uncomfortably, whimpering to himself. How on earth did humans deal with it? The whimpers grew into cries and the cries to wails. Abrielle dashed to the nursery, but by the time she arrived it was too late. He had already wet his diaper. She took him into her arms and planted gentle kisses to his forehead, but was stumped when he kept on crying. There was something else going on there. She offered him his pacifier and another bottle of milk, but he refused them. That's when the idea of what was really going on hit her, and she quickly checked to see if her suspicions were correct. As was often the case, they were. She quickly went about changing him, relieved when his tears began to subside. Once the wet diaper was off of him, Castiel calmed down significantly, sucking his thumb and staring up at the ceiling as his mother finished changing him. Once he was dressed again, she scooped him up and showered him with kisses while he giggled delightedly.

"There now. That's better, isn't it sweetheart?" Castiel nodded. "You can come in now, boys!" She called over her shoulder. Gabriel and Lucifer entered the room. Castiel squealed happily and reached out to his big brothers. After some tickling and laughter, they played together for the first time in years. It was the most fun they'd had in a long while. It was those small moments in that first day together that made it so memorable- from Gabriel making silly voices while they were playing with toys, to the way Lucifer held him while reading stories, to the way his mother kissed him goodnight. He went to sleep that knowledge that he had a loving family once again.

Those first few days and weeks of age play were ones of trial and error, of trying new things and enjoying old ones. But the four of them developed a routine that cemented with time. Abrielle would wake Castiel up every morning, change his diaper, and feed him a bottle. She would stay with him until either one (or both) of his brothers showed up. Then she would head off to work at the courthouse while Gabriel or Lucifer watched over him. They would play together until lunch time, where he was fed once more. After lunch his brother would read him a story and then settle him down for a nap. He would sleep until three in the afternoon. When he woke up he was changed again, and was allowed to play or watch TV until his mother came home. After she got home the four of them had dinner together in her apartment before his brothers left for the evening. The rest of the evening was spent playing with his Mommy until bedtime loomed. He was sung a lullaby and put to sleep. Then he would wake up and start the cycle all over again. Of course things weren't that way all the time. There were times when he went to visit the Winchesters at the bunker or help them on the hunt, but otherwise that was his life, and he loved it. He kept his lifestyle a secret from the Winchester brothers. He couldn't bear the thought of them looking at him like he was different. So his secret festered inside of him. Although he had drawn a very clear line between his two lives, the line was growing thinner every day. His infantile habits were beginning to spill over in his adult life. The two hardest things to remember were to not to use baby talk when talking about his mother, and to not suck his thumb. He had told them about Gabriel's revival, but he hadn't told them about Lucifer. He didn't think he would ever get them to believe that he had really changed- Sam especially. So he kept his mouth shut and silently developed an incredible relationship with his older brother.

When her son was sleeping Abrielle often liked to write him letters for all sorts of situations. Although she kept them all to herself to give to her son at a later date, there was one letter that she entrusted to Lucifer, giving him strict orders not to open it unless something happened to her. Although he was a little surprised, Lucifer followed his mother's instructions to the letter and kept the envelope in his shirt pocket. It rested right by his heart.

It was about six months after that first day of seeing his mother again. Castiel was sitting, talking with the Winchesters about their latest hunt in the bunker's kitchen. The TV was on, providing a comforting background noise for when there was a lull in the conversation. Castiel was saying something to Dean when his phone began to ring. He answered it without looking to see who was calling.

"Hello?"

"Baby..."

"Mom?" The tone of her voice instantly had him on edge.

"I need your help." It was barely a whisper.

"Where are you?" He demanded sharply.

"In a warehouse... Downtown... The abandoned one half a mile from the old dive bar on first street."

"I'm coming!" He said. He hung up the phone and ran out the door, not even bothering with a goodbye. He ran to his Lincoln Continental Mark V, put the keys in the ignition, and drove. He ignored the speed limits, ran red lights, and drove 80 miles per hour the whole way there. He would have flew if it had been possible, but his wings were bare, stripped of the lustrous feathers that once covered them. They looked like a newborn angel's wings. He found it ironic, considering what he'd been doing recently. All of these thoughts flitted through his mind, but he didn't make sense of them.

When he finally reached the warehouse, his heart was thundering inside of his chest. He leapt out of the car and ran to the doors at full speed, not bothering to prepare for what might have been on the other side of the door. All he cared about was reaching his mother.

He opened the door to a dark, empty space. The floor was concrete, but was covered with so much dirt that it seemed like the floor was made of gravel. There were steel light fixtures hanging from metal rafters, but when he tried to switch on the lights he discovered that none of them worked. The only light came through the open door. He stepped to the side of the door, hoping to illuminate more of the room. The light cast a shadow on something too far away for him to see clearly, so he went to investigate. When he got closer, he saw that it wasn't a shadow he had seen.

It was a pool of blood.

His heart skipped a beat as he drew closer to the blood puddle. When he finally got to it, he froze completely.

There, lying on the floor, was his mother's crumpled body.


	2. Part 2

His breath stilled in his throat, and his heart seemed to stop beating. Time halted entirely, and the world around him faded away until he was alone in the darkness with only his mother's corpse for company. Shock coated his mind, incapacitating his ability to think and hindering all forms of movement. His eyes were locked on her body, looking for any sign of breathing, but there was none. She was completely still. He still couldn't bring himself to move, but he noticed that his breathing was inconsistent and shallow. When his emotions finally caught up to him there would be no way he could control what came out.

He stood there, a statue frozen in time. No words came from him, and nothing made him budge an inch. He just stared at her, not hearing footsteps making the sort-of gravel crunch beneath the shoes of two other people.

"Cas?" The word came from the mouth of Dean Winchester, who stood ten feet away from him. Beside him stood his brother Sam, who was looking at the angel curiously. Dean cautiously stepped forward and said his name again, but Castiel didn't answer him. He couldn't hear him. Finally, Dean walked up to him and finally saw what he was looking at. He uttered a string of curse words underneath his breath. Sam's reaction wasn't much different. Both of them tried to get his attention, but it was useless. Nothing could snap him out of it.

Feeling dejected, Dean tried another tactic. "Gabriel, if you can hear me, get your ass down here now. Cas is-"

Before he could even get out the rest, Gabriel appeared.

"What's wro-" The sentence was cut short as he saw his mother lying on the ground and his brother standing over her, shell shocked. "No..." He whispered. He knelt down to her, checking her for any signs of life, but he found none. His heart was breaking with grief, but he boxed it up and shoved it away someplace where he could revisit it later. There was nothing he could do for her, so he turned his thoughts to his brother. He stood up and went over to where his little brother stood. He knew he would have to approach this delicately or he could risk seriously hurting his little brother.

"Cassie?" He asked gently. Not even a blink. He got down on one knee and gently placed a hand on his shoulder. It broke his heart when his little brother jumped away from the physical contact and put his arms up as if he was afraid he was going to be hit. He put his arms up, to prove that he wasn't a threat. "It's just me." He said quietly.

Castiel had been stuck in place, held there by his mother's body. His mind had been in his little boy headspace when his brother touched his shoulder. He jerked back, vulnerable and frightened. He saw Gabriel standing in front of him and relaxed a fraction.

"Bubba?" He asked in a small voice that sounded frighteningly far away. Gabriel breathed a sigh of relief when he spoke and nodded. The first time they thought their mother had died, Castiel had stopped speaking for the equivalent of two earth years. He didn't know if he could handle a repeat of that.

"It's me." Gabriel said reassuringly. As soon as he said it he saw his brother's walls beginning to break. His blue eyes shimmered with tears and his lower lip began to quiver. Gabriel opened his arms and Castiel ran into them, sobbing into his shoulder. Gabriel held him close, rubbing circles on his back as he tried to soothe him. "I know, Cassie. I know..."

Castiel cried uncontrollably. The sobs wracked his body, making him tremble furiously as he clutched his older brother to him like a life preserver. He took huge, gasping breaths as he tried to calm down, but he couldn't do it. All he could see was his mother, all he could do was imagine her terror. Fear pummeled through his body, making him cold, despite the fact that it was warm in the warehouse. He didn't realize that he was still standing until his legs were shaky and felt like jelly. He wasn't surprised when they gave way. He just clung to Gabriel.

Gabriel slowly felt himself growing agitated. Not at his brother- he wasn't upset with him in the slightest. He was angry that he couldn't do more to help him. He hated not being able to take action when it was needed. But then an idea struck him. Why did he have to do it alone? He opened his connection with Lucifer and begged him to bring some of Cas' little boy items with him. He couldn't bring himself to say what had happened to require them. He just told him where they were and to hurry.

A minute passed, and then another. As slowly as sand in an hourglass. Gabriel felt his unrest intensify with every second that passed.

Finally, Lucifer appeared.

"Gabriel, what's going... On...?" His sentence trailed off as he saw his mother on the floor. He almost dropped the items in his hand.

Sam and Dean reacted instantly upon seeing the archangel, reaching for the holy oil they kept on them. They were about to strike when Dean saw the look of devastation in his eyes and more importantly the items in his hand. He held his brother back. Sam eyed him like he was crazy, but Dean held firm.

"Mom..." The word was a broken whisper. He knelt beside her, putting a finger to her neck, searching for a pulse. There was none. He swallowed hard, trying to get rid of the lump in his throat. He closed his eyes, trying to calm himself down. Having better control over his emotions, he went over to his brothers. He and Gabriel shared a saddened look before Lucifer wrapped his arms and wings around the both of them, a terrible knowledge consuming him.

They were a broken little family.

"Oh Cassie... I'm so sorry..." He knew how deeply this would wound him. He wanted to say more, know the right words to help calm his little brother down, but no words came. There weren't any words for this kind of heartache.

Wait... Maybe there were.

Lucifer let go of his brothers and grabbed the envelope he kept in his jacket pocket. Gabriel looked at him questioningly. He went over to where Castiel was crying over his brother's shoulder.

"Cassie." He cooed quietly. Castiel looked up at his older brother, still gasping for breath. He pulled out his bee and pacifier from behind his back. He eagerly grabbed both of them. He stuffed the pacifier into his mouth and cuddled the bee close to him. "Mommy wrote a letter for us." He said. Gabriel relinquished his hold on his baby brother to face his elder brother.

"She did?"

He nodded. "She said to only open it if something happened to her."

Castiel looked up at his brother, urging him to go on. Gabriel sat beside him, holding his free hand.

Lucifer opened the letter with care as he took it from its envelope. Staring back at him was his mother's unmistakable elegant cursive handwriting. He took a deep breath, and began to read.

" _My Darling Boys,  
If you're reading this then that means something has happened to me. Words cannot express how sorry I am to have hurt you in this way. I love each of you deeply and I know how much something like this will devastate you. I watched it unfold before, and I cannot bear to have it happen again. But this time will be different because you have each other. So I have words for each of you, something for you to hold onto when you don't have me there with you.  
Lucifer, my shining star, I want you to know how proud I am of you. You turned your life around and became a better role model for your younger brothers. You have proven that with hard work and dedication you can make anything possible. Don't throw everything that you've worked for away just because I'm gone. Keep going, keep working, and keep proving to yourself that you can do this. Don't let your anger trap you where you are. Keep moving forward with your life, and know that I will be watching over you the whole time.  
Gabriel, my joyful jokester, I want you to know that you are just as important as any of your other brothers and sisters. Many of them will make you feel like you aren't worthy enough to be with them, but they're wrong. You are enough just the way you are. You've brought so much laughter to my life, and I'm so grateful for that. Don't abandon your joyful spirit, and hold the family we have created together in my absence. Take care of your brothers, and keep them laughing. I know you love to travel and I don't want you to stop that. Just remember that you can take your brothers with you on your journey. I hope you all take many new adventures together.  
Castiel, my sweet baby boy, I want you to know how sorry I am for having to leave you. I know you feel like you didn't get enough time with me, and that you'll feel lost without me. You'll let your sadness take over your life. Forget about that sadness, baby boy. Remember how I made you smile. Remember the giggles, the hugs, the kisses, the stories, the cuddles, and the moments that made us a family. You and your brothers were the greatest joys of my life, and I don't ever want you to forget that. Whenever something good happens, think of me, and I'll be there with you. I'm never really gone.  
I love you boys more than my own life. I will always be watching over you and keeping you safe. You are my legacy, and I am so proud of each of you. Take care of one another, and find the joy in every new day. Talk about me and keep my memory alive. If you do that, I will always be there for you, no matter what happens. You will always be the biggest part of my heart.  
All My Love,  
Mommy._"

The three of them were quiet for a long while. Castiel put down his bee and grabbed his brothers pant leg. Lucifer took his hand and smiled down at him, but it wasn't the real thing and they all knew it. The three of them ended up forming a circle, a ring of grief. The warehouse was empty, and the open space seemed to magnify their sadness. Lucifer was the first to recover himself. There were things he needed to do now. He and Abrielle had talked about this before, done things to prepare. But nothing could have ever really prepared him for this. He saw Castiel yawn from out of the corner of his eye, and remembered his mother's words.

" _If I ever leave, you must protect Castiel. He needs me the most. Stick to his routine as much as possible. It will make the transition easier. Answer his questions as best you can, and tell him about me when he asks. I want him to know the truth. Remind him every day of how much I loved him. And tell him that I miss him too_."

Shaking his head to clear it, he looked to his youngest brother kindly.

"Cassie, I think it's nap time for you." He said in a gentle voice created specifically for his little brother.

Instantly, Castiel sat up straighter in a pathetic attempt to prove he was awake and shook his head. "No." He said petulantly.

Lucifer was surprised. His little brother normally enjoyed nap time. Unlike other children, the chance to dream intrigued him. Although he understood why his brother was reluctant he knew he had to ask him anyway. It was important that Castiel felt heard.

"Why not?" He asked carefully. Cas looked hesitant to answer. When he did, he refused to remove his pacifier from his mouth.

"I don' wanna weave her... I don' wanna dweam abou' her..." His voice was small and frightened.

"She would have wanted you to get your rest." Gabriel pointed out. Though his voice was gentle, Castiel flinched at the words, making guilt well up in his older brother's chest.

"We'll watch over her while you sleep. How about that?" Lucifer chimed in. Castiel's thumb slid into his mouth as he thought it over. He looked at his brothers with shining, innocent eyes.

"Pwomise?" He asked, articulation muffled by his thumb.

Both of them nodded. "We promise."

Castiel picked up his bee and traded his thumb for his pacifier before he reached up for his brothers. It was Lucifer who picked him up and settled him on his hip. He knew his little brother would want a story before his nap, and while Gabriel was good, it was he that Castiel asked to read to him. Lucifer turned to his younger brother.

"Will you watch over her while I put him down?"

Gabriel nodded and Lucifer turned to Castiel.

"Blow her kisses bye bye and tell mommy you love her."

Castiel turned to where his mother lay and blew her a kiss.

"Bye bye Mommy." He said sadly. Gabriel waved goodbye to his brothers as they prepared to leave. When they disappeared, his shoulders slumped with the weight of his grief. But he wouldn't break. He had a duty to do now, and he couldn't mess it up. He had to find out who killed his mother. He only remembered that he wasn't alone when Dean cleared his throat behind him. He reminded himself that he was professional at acting, that he could smile through anything, but sorrow had impaired his acting abilities significantly. He turned to face the Winchester brothers with an expression that was one of bone crushing tiredness. It aged him at least three decades. For a moment, no one said anything. Irritation flared up in Gabriel at the silence.

"Well?" He snapped. "If you have something to say, say it!"

The words, sharp as they were, didn't phase Dean or Sam. Dean spoke up first.

"When did you become buddies with Lucifer?" He blurted out. Sam elbowed him sharply in the ribs, wondering if his brother ever thought before he spoke. Gabriel's expression grew murderous.

"My mother is dead, my brother's regressing, and you two numbskulls want to talk about that?! _Really_?!"

His anger was palpable, so much so that Dean could have sworn he could touch it with his own fingers.

"I'm sorry that happened to you, but-"

"You're sorry? YOU'RE SORRY?! I just lost my mother for the second time in my life, have to track down whoever killed her, and take care of my traumatized baby brother while you two stand there like idiots! But hey, it's all good because you're sorry, right? Well I don't want or need your pity. Neither does Cassie. Do me a favor: the next time you two get the bright idea try to butt into our family business, stay out of it!" He yelled before calming a fraction. "Now if you'll excuse me, I'd like to say goodbye to my mother in peace." He finished coldly.

"But-"

"Get out. Right now." He ordered, turning to where his mother lay. With a sigh, he tried to let go of the anger that was boiling over inside of him. He didn't know if the boys were still behind him or not, but he didn't care. It was a fight he didn't have the energy to continue. He took in a breath to steady himself as he knelt beside his mother's cold, lifeless body and examined her for the first time.

Her upper body was partially on its side, but the lower half was flat on the ground. Her legs were bent slightly as If she were partially curled up on the floor. She was dressed in the same outfit he first saw her in- her black suit and heels. It was fitting that she had passed in that outfit- it was her favorite. All of her diamond jewelry was still on her person. Her skin was still pale as a ghost, not marred at all by whomever attacked her. The blood puddled around her was coming from her head. Someone had hit her from behind.

 _Coward_ , he thought as he gently touched her forehead. Her skin was still warm, but not as warm as usual. It chilled him to the bone to admit it. He gently moved her head to examine the wound more thoroughly. He found some black grainy substance in the edges of the wound. At first he thought it might have been gunpowder from a gun that could have been used to hit her. But then a certain smell caught his nose.

Sulfur.

His first irrational thought was that his brother had gone back to the dark side, but he knew that wasn't true. One look at his devastated face when he saw his mother's body was enough proof of his innocence. Someone else was pulling strings here. Crowley maybe? But he didn't know about her. Who else would have a reason to hurt her? He pondered the puzzling thought for a while, staring at his mother.

He almost didn't notice the subtle sound of wings flapping beside him. When he looked up, Lucifer was there, looking tired.

"He asleep?"

"It took me two hours but yeah, he's down. I have an alarm that will tell me if he wakes up."

Gabriel glanced at his watch. Had it really been that long? He sighed in exhaustion and nodded. "Good."

Lucifer looked down at his mother. "Do we know yet?"

"I don't know what they used to do it with, but there was sulfur in the wound."

Gabriel looked up to his eldest brother and saw his anger and furious appearance. "Luc..."

"I'm fine, Gabriel." He said more harshly than intended. "I'll get to the bottom of this. You'll have to watch over Cassie while I'm gone."

"I can do that."

They shared a nod, and then Lucifer was gone.

Gabriel stood there awkwardly for a moment, not quite certain of how to be alone anymore. Then, he remembered he might not be. He turned around to see both Winchesters standing behind him.

"You're still here." He said, mildly surprised.

"We wouldn't leave you here alone." Said Sam. Gabriel gave him a sad little half smile. They were stubborn as mules.

"No. You wouldn't leave without answers." There was a distinct difference between them. They shrugged guiltily. He sighed. "Just get on with it."

Sam felt a pinch of guilt. The archangel looked so tired, so world weary. Dean saw it, but chose to ignore it. He needed answers.

"How about you start with Lucifer?"

"Mom wanted to get the family back together, so we went to see him and made up. No big deal."

No big deal? Taking satan out of hell was a pretty big deal to Dean. "When did this happen?" He pressed.

"The day she revived me."

"That long?"

"I guess Cassie never told you, huh?"

"No."

"It's not too hard to figure out why."

Sam and Dean shared a look. They both knew they wouldn't have really believed it.

"I guess not." Said Sam.

Gabriel waited, expecting more questions.

"Okay... What's with Cas?"

Gabriel shut his eyes. He'd been anticipating something like that. He sighed.

"He was around two or three when she died the first time. I don't know how else to explain it except that he snapped back to that state of mind."

He decided that he would gloss over some of the finer details of the situation. They didn't need to know that this was a daily venture. Some things were still a family matter.

"How long will this last?" Asked Sam.

"What am I, a shrink? I don't know. But Luci and I are prepared for anything."

From his stance, Dean could tell there was something he was holding back.

"But?" He promoted. Gabriel looked hesitant to answer. Finally, after some internal debate, he spoke.

"Because he regressed to such a young age, I don't know if he'll know who you are. And if he recognizes you and realize's what's going on, I'm afraid it might prolong the phase."

Just as he finished saying it, he felt Lucifer's silent alarm going off. Cursing under his breath, he ordered the Winchesters to stay with Abrielle's body while he went to his brother.

The first sound to reach Gabriel's ears was a piercing scream. He burst into the nursery to see his little brother crying in his sleep, kicking and thrashing around. He lowered the side of the crib and gently shook his brother's shoulder. With a shriek, Castiel awoke, eyes darting around in fear.

"Cassie, Cassie it's okay. I'm right here. You're not alone. I'm here." He said, pulling his little brother into his arms. It took him a minute to understand, but once he did his arms locked around Gabriel's neck as he cried. Gabriel bounced him up and down, trying to calm him down. When he realized part of the reason why he was crying, he changed his little brother's diaper. That soothed him significantly. He grabbed his bee from the crib along with the pacifier and decided to take him back to the warehouse. Lucifer would be expecting them there.

When they got there Castiel was relatively calmer, but still crying. It took a few minutes of cooing and comforting, he was calm. Gabriel carefully set him on his feet and watched him walk over to their mother. He knelt beside her and started shaking her.

"Momma? Momma..." He called, trying to wake her up. It was then that it donned on them all that he didn't really understand that she was gone. It jarred the heart every time he said the word. Lucifer returned to that very sight and stood beside Gabriel, who was watching the scene with a lump in his throat. When nothing worked and Abrielle wouldn't respond, Castiel started to cry. It was Lucifer who was the first to act, giving his little brother a tight hug.

"It's alright, Cassie." He soothed. Gabriel came up to them and offered Castiel his pacifier and bee, which he eagerly accepted. When he calmed slightly, Gabriel pulled out a bottle from behind his back.

"Want a ba ba?" Castiel nodded eagerly and threw the pacifier aside as he started to suck on the bottle. While Castiel was occupied, Lucifer turned to his brother.

"The demons wanted me back, so they thought if Mom was gone I'd come back. All of the ones who did this are gone. Now there are only Crowley's followers in Hell." They both stared at each other for a few minutes, not saying what they were both thinking. When the bottle was gone, Gabriel sent it back to the nursery. When he was done, Lucifer finally spoke.

"I hate to say it, and I mean _really_ hate to say it, but I think we might need Dad."

Gabriel nodded. "Agreed."

"Somebody call for me?" Came a voice from behind them. All five heads in the room whipped around to see Chuck Shurley enter the room.

"Dad?" Gabriel asked questioningly. Chuck nodded. "We need your help."

"So I saw."

The two of them split apart to reveal their Mother's body. Castiel was still calling out for her, and Chuck grimaced at the sight. He walked over to her, eyes bright with sadness.

"Abrielle..." The word was covered with emotion. Both Gabriel and Lucifer had never seen him like that. Castiel, sitting on her other side, picked up on the change in emotion, and started to cry again. That was the first time chuck noticed his youngest son, and compassion filled his heart. He stepped over his wife and sat beside his child.

"Daddy?" Castiel asked, sobbing. Chuck nodded.

"Castiel, don't cry, Momma's too sweepy to hear you screamin' in her ear."

He snuffled and looked up at him, confused. "Momma?"

Gabriel and Lucifer stepped closer, instinctively protecting their vulnerable little brother. Chuck wrinkled his nose, and suddenly the blood around her head disappeared, as did her head wound. The two of them held their breath.

"Try one more time." He said. Castiel nodded and shook his mothers shoulder.

"Wake up, Mommy." He said.

To everyone's surprise, her blue eyes opened.

"Mommy?" He asked, scared to believe it. She sat up slowly, then turned toward his voice. There stood her husband and two older sons. Beside her sat her baby boy, who looked frightened and impossibly young. She shakily got to her feet and lifted Castiel into her arms.

"Hey there, baby boy." She whispered.

"Mommy..." The word was surprised. Both of his brothers watched the smile grow on his face when he realized that she was real. "Mommy!" This time it was a joyful cry. "Mommy! Mommy!" He giggled as she kissed his forehead. She spun around in a circle, grinning when he laughed. When the shock wore off Gabriel and Lucifer, they both hugged her tightly. Surrounded by her family, Abrielle couldn't help but smile. This was her taste of heaven.

When her older sons let go, she faced her husband. Their blue eyes locked on each other. Thousands of years were between them now, and dozens of emotions flew by in a heartbeat. Abrielle still had Castiel on her hip, but neither of them noticed. Castiel was watching his parents intently, sucking on two of his fingers in place of a pacifier.

"Hello Chuck." She said stiffly. He nodded at her.

"Abrielle. I see you've come out of hiding."

"I have."

"You've reunited our family." He said quietly. Lucifer automatically straightened. Abrielle tried to swallow the lump in her throat, but only swallowed around it.

"Yes." It was all she could say.

"I missed you."

The words surprised her. Instantly the walls she'd carefully constructed around her heart were up, defending her from any possible heartache. She turned away from him, ready to run.

Chuck saw her pulling away from him, and knew he had to act quickly. He couldn't lose her now. He snapped his fingers. Old speakers that had been placed in the rafters roared to life, and music began to play, filling the room with it's sounds. Abrielle froze in place.

It was their song.

Gabriel went over and took his brother from his mother. She turned around to see Chuck standing in front of her.

"Dance with me." He said. He offered her his hand. He didn't miss her hesitation, but she finally put her hand in his. He pulled her close to him and they started to dance.

"Why did you send me away?" She asked, even though she already knew the answer. She needed to hear it from him.

"Because I wanted to protect you. People would have taken advantage of you, tried to hurt you. I couldn't bear for that to happen to you."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"I missed out on so much with our children... I'll never get that time back with them. It was the worst punishment I have ever endured."

"I just wanted to protect you."

"And I wanted to protect them. Instead you drove them all away."

"I never meant for that to happen."

She looked at him, piercing blue eyes staring into his soul. "Didn't you?"

He was shocked. "What?"

"You drove them away so you wouldn't have to see them, because they reminded you of me. You were only protecting yourself from the pain. Am I right?"

It took him a moment to recover from the shock. "Yes... And I'm sorry. I just couldn't bear it. With you gone I fell apart. I should have kept our family closer... I should have been a better father... But I can't change the past. All I can do is ask for your forgiveness and hope you'll accept my apology."

She smiled slightly at that. "I forgive you. But it's not me you need to apologize to."

"That's not true."

"What are you talking about?"

"I made a mistake when I sent you away, Abrielle. I should never have let you go. But I will never make that mistake again."

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying I love you."

She inhaled sharply. She wasn't expecting that at all. She wanted to back away, but was held in place by her shock.

"What did you just say?"

" _I love you_."

Before she could react further, he pulled her into his arms and kissed her. For a second she was completely frozen, but then she was jello in his arms. This was what she'd been missing. The last piece of the puzzle that would make her complete. He was her haven, her port in the storm. Somehow she'd forgotten that with time. She'd made him out to be a neglectful father and a distant husband. In that one kiss she remembered his powerful love for her, and why she loved him in the first place.

Their lips parted. She smiled. "I suppose you expect me to fall into your arms and promise to follow wherever you go, and just pick up where we left off?"

"No." She blinked, surprised. "I don't want to fit you into my life- I want to fit into yours. I want to be a family again. I've missed so much, and I want the chance to be a better man. Will you give me that chance?"

She stared at him a moment, not quite comprehending his words. Then, she smiled, and it took his breath away. "Okay."

They kissed once before he turned to his children.

"I'm sorry boys. I was wrong to send you away. I tried to be a better father, but I failed more than I succeeded. You deserve better. Can you forgive me?"

Everyone was silent for a moment, until Castiel started to fuss and Gabriel set him down. He walked over to his father with sparkling blue eyes, and gave him a hug.

"I can, Daddy."

Chuck felt his throat close up. "Thank you."

Castiel smiled, and turned to his older brothers. Seeing his face was enough for Gabriel. "I forgive you."

Chuck smiled, then looked at Lucifer. There was so much bad blood between them that Chuck was sure he would be refused. The silence stretched on for what seemed like forever. Finally, Lucifer stepped toward him.

"I still care about you, Dad. I always have. I'm ready for a fresh start."

They shook hands, and just like that, centuries of hatred were abolished.

They all gathered in a group hug, and Castiel felt a glowing inside of him. This was the true power of a mother's love.

 **Author's End Note: Bonus points to anyone who can identify what song I've quoted in my dialogue. And if you were wondering, the song Chuck and Abrielle danced to was "I'll Die Trying" by Emerson Drive. I'm definitely open to writing more for this story, but you guys have to tell me what you want to see. I hope you enjoyed this story! Positive reviews are welcomed and encouraged!**


	3. Part 3

**Author's Note: You asked for more, you got it! It's a bit short, but I plan to update again soon. As always, positive reviews are encouraged. I hope you enjoy this chapter!**

When the hug broke apart Castiel eagerly reached out to his mother to be held. Abrielle happily indulged him, hoisting him onto her hip and nuzzling him until he giggled happily. He wrapped his arms around her neck and rested his head on her shoulder, yawning as he popped his thumb into his mouth. Abrielle turned to her older sons.

"Did you put him down for a nap today?"

"Yes." Said Lucifer.

"But it didn't last long." Added Gabriel.

Abrielle sighed. "Come on, sweetheart. Let's get you to bed." She said, pressing a kiss to her son's forehead. He yawned and snuggled against her. She smiled at him and kissed her husband and her children before she went back home. Chuck then turned to the Winchester boys, who were still standing there awkwardly. He smiled at them, having seen all of what had transpired in his omnipotence. He walked over to them, smiling.

"Thank you for watching over my wife." He said, gratefully. Sam and Dean nodded perfunctorily, getting ready to leave. To them it wasn't a big deal, but to Chuck it was everything.

"You know, Castiel isn't the only one who deserves his mother back."

The two of them froze in their steps at that. Dean's eyes grew wide as saucers. Chuck smiled, and said "Turn around." They obeyed.

There stood Mary Winchester, clad in a white shirt and blue jeans. Her smile was brilliant as she looked at her children, who were staring at her, mouths agape. It wasn't until she wrapped her arms around both of them that they reacted. Dean hugged her tightly, shocked that she was really there. Sam was dazed as well, but wasn't as surprised. It was Chuck, after all.

"Mom..." They whispered in awe. She smiled as she hugged them.

"I'm so proud of you." She whispered.

The three of them held onto one another for a minute, beaming.

Chuck smiled at his work and turned to Lucifer. The two of them began talking- their first real conversation in eons. But Gabriel was looking at Dean.

He knew Dean well enough to know that He wouldn't just let Castiel's behavior go. He would ask questions, go putting his nose in their business again.

Much like Gabriel, Dean let Sam talk with their mother. He had watched Castiel interact with his own mother, and although Gabriel had tried to explain it away, Dean couldn't help but feel like he had seen something he wasn't supposed to. He gestured to Gabriel who pulled him aside so neither their brothers nor their parents could hear them.

Dean was upfront and direct. "What's going on with Cas?"

Gabriel's face revealed nothing. "I told you what happened."

"But you left something out."

"I told you all there was to tell. That's it." He replied. Dean looked at him, disbelieving. Gabriel knew he would keep barreling on until he got an answer he wanted, so he stepped closer to him, keeping his voice to a whisper.

"If something was wrong with Cassie I would tell you about it. I'm asking you, just this once, look the other way."

They stared at each other in silent tableau, their gazes icy. Neither would budge from their position. Gabriel's ego was solid on this point; he wasn't going to give his brother's secret away- on this he would not yield. Finally, he decided to speak.

"As an older brother you would do anything to protect Sam's secrets. Let me do the same for Cassie."

A flickering of surprise flashed through Dean's eyes at the reminder of the unspoken knowledge all older brothers shared. It was a sort of code that only they could read. Somehow Dean had forgotten that Gabriel shared this unspoken bond with him. The words were like a Yahtzee- once they were thrown out, Dean lost the game.

"Okay." He said, finally. "I'll look away this time. But if it ever happens again, I won't back off. I want the whole story. No holding back. Deal?"

"Deal."

They shook hands, and Gabriel internally sighed in relief. He went back over to his father and brother, inserting himself into the conversation with ease, but he could feel Dean's gaze boring into him, analyzing his every move for more information. But he remained relaxed. He would not be intimidated into betraying his little brother.

Eventually the Winchesters left the warehouse, leaving Chuck and his children alone.

"Are you boys ready to go home?" He asked. Gabriel and Lucifer nodded, before heading back to Abrielle's penthouse.

When they arrived, Chuck looked around. His first reaction was an unthinking pleasure. Although he had loved his wife dearly, he had been careful to not keep track of her. That way if something were to happen to him and she was uncovered, he could honestly say he had no idea what happened to her. Now, seeing the life she led, he grinned, pleased. She had carved out a good life for herself- one much better than his own. Making his way past the expensive furniture and TV, he followed his sons and went through the French doors to the Master bedroom, surprised when they immediately turned into what he thought was going to be a closet. His expression turned to one of surprise when he found a nursery instead, but the shock quickly wore off. He should have expected that. There, in a rocking chair, sat his wife, cradling his youngest child in her lap. At the sound of the door opening, she looked up, smiling to see her husband and children filing into the room.

Chuck opened the link between himself and his wife.

 _Why don't you put him in his crib?_

 _Because he screamed whenever I let him go._

Chuck's face was neutral. _After what he saw I'm not surprised._

Abrielle had to fight the urge to sigh. _I know. I'm just tired._

Chuck went to her side and pulled up a chair, putting an arm around her. _I know._

Abrielle kissed her husband gently on the lips, enjoying the scent of his cologne. When their lips parted, she leaned her head on his shoulder, enjoying how his arm tightened around her, and how it felt when she held his hand.

 _I love you._ She said, simply.

He smiled. _I love you too._

Her resulting smile took his breath away. He felt his heart clench like a fist. He loved her so much; how had he lived so long on his own?

Gabriel and Lucifer stood awkwardly in the doorway, unsure of what to do with themselves. Lucifer felt strange standing so close to the man who had created him and not feeling angry. But his feelings were nothing compared to the overwhelming emotions his younger brother was feeling. Gabriel couldn't help staring at the little brother he had sworn to protect. Seeing him in their mother's lap, protected and safe should have reinforced his earlier decision to not to tell Dean their secret.

So why was he feeling guilty about it?

The answer came easily enough: because Dean was Cassie's friend. Their friendship ran so deep that it bordered on family. Gabriel immediately corrected himself: to Dean, Castiel _was_ family. But was Dean really close enough to warrant the knowledge of a secret of this magnitude? Gabriel still wasn't sure.

Lucifer happened to glance over to his brother and saw the pensive expression on his face. He set a hand on his shoulder, starting Gabriel from his thoughts. He jerked his head to the door and Gabriel nodded. The two of them left the nursery and went out to the living room.

"Alright, what is it?" Asked Lucifer.

"What?" Asked Gabriel, confused. The knowing look his brother gave him said it all. He sighed. All it took was a raise of the eyebrow and suddenly Gabriel found himself spilling his guts to his older brother, wondering if he'd done the right thing.

"Dean pulled me aside and asked about Cassie."

Lucifer took in a sharp breath. Gabriel had expected that.

"He wanted to know what was going on. I didn't tell him- of course I didn't- and I asked him to let it go. He said he would, but if it happens again, I have to tell him about it. At first I felt sure that I did the right thing, but now I'm not so sure... I mean, to Dean they are family, but close enough to know about this? I just don't know..." Gabriel stared down at his hands, lost in thought.

"You did the right thing." Said Lucifer gently. Gabriel's head snapped up.

"Really?"

"Really. You protected him when he was vulnerable. That's what big brothers are for."

Gabriel finally cracked a smile. "Thanks, Luc."

"Anytime."

His brother's reassurance buoyed him, made him more confident in his decision.

It wasn't until hours later, when he was alone in the nursery with his sleeping little brother, that he started to doubt himself again.


	4. Part 4

**Author's Note: Here's another chapter guys! Review and enjoy!**

Dean and Sam spent the entire day flying high, enjoying the time with their mother. They took her back to the bunker and talked for hours. For the first time in recent memory, they were a family. They spent all day reconnecting, and by night fall they were at ease. When they all parted company for the evening, Dean found himself hopelessly awake as he lay in bed. He couldn't stop thinking about his conversation with Gabriel. Something was going on with Cas, and the mystery of it tantalized him, teased him with it's elusiveness. Trying to figure it out only gave him a headache. Scenes from the day played on a loop over and over again in his mind. He wanted desperately to sleep, but found himself unable to quiet his mind. Frustrated, he threw the covers off of himself and went to the kitchen to get a drink.

He grabbed a beer from the refrigerator and popped the top. After taking a long draught, he set the beer on the table and sat there in the kitchen, thinking. He drank to forget, but there was so much of today he wanted to remember. He wanted to remember that feeling of seeing his mother in person for the first time in years, and how it felt when she hugged him and said how she was proud of him. He wanted to remember the feeling of her smiling at him, and the sound of her laugh.

But in between the memories of his own mother flashed ones of Cas' mother. Her dead body lying in a pool of blood, and the way Cas kept shaking her, expecting her to wake up. The broken look on Gabriel's face when he saw her, and the way Lucifer read her letter to them. And Chuck's emotional saying of her name. He tried to remind himself of the good moments with Cas' mother. How when she did wake, Cas' smiled happily. How their family gathered in a group hug, and how Chuck kissed her so tenderly, and how she watched him reunite with their children.

He finished the beer and poured himself a glass of bourbon on the rocks, swirling it around his glass.

He circled back to her waking. Cas' reaction was so joyful and innocent that it didn't seem like him at all. He thought about the way he cried over her into his older brother's shoulder. It seemed like the way a child would grieve. But it couldn't be that... Could it? He then thought about how his mother reacted after the initial interaction was over. How she asked if he'd had a nap today.

With a start, he realized that that could be it.

The way he reacted was so natural that it couldn't have been a sudden reaction. The way he'd clung to his mother, and how he'd sucked his thumb and pacifier left nothing to chance. The nickname for his brother was said in a familiar way, and the reactions of both Gabriel and Lucifer had been so habitual that it seemed like Cas' reaction had been anticipated. All the clues clicked into place.

He had cracked it.

Now though, he had to figure out what to do with the information he'd gained. There was no way to test this theory of his, and he certainly couldn't tell anyone without proof. He could ask Gabriel, but he was sure that he'd vehemently deny it, even if it was true. And of course asking Cas was out of the question. He had possibly broken the code of one of heaven's biggest secrets and he couldn't even tell his brother about it.

Well shit.

When the bourbon was down, he sat there a minute, enjoying the silence that came with the bunker. Then, unwilling to analyze his decisions any further, he went back to his bedroom and fell asleep.

Miles away in the dead of night, Abrielle was roused from her own sleep by her son's screams for the third time that night. Chuck rolled over in bed beside her, intending to get up, but she told him to go back to sleep. Grumbling something, he turned onto his side and was snoring again almost instantly. Abrielle hurriedly put on her robe and made her way into the nursery. Flicking on the light, she went over to the crib, where her youngest child lay screaming in his sleep. Stifling a sigh, she pulled him into her arms and sat in the rocking chair. She pressed gentle kisses to his forehead until he woke up, eyes already shining with tears.

"It's okay, baby boy. Mommy's here now." She soothed.

The tears in his eyes streamed down his face as he clung to her, whimpering softly. She rubbed circles on his back and hushed him quietly. Although it had calmed him the first two times, this time he wouldn't be comforted. So Abrielle was forced to try something else. Desperate to be back in sleep's sweet embrace, she started to sing a lullaby to him in Enochian in hopes of consoling him. When that didn't work she tried changing his diaper and then went over to the tiny kitchen like area and made him a bottle of milk. As soon as the nipple was brought to his lips he started suckling furiously, as if the action alone could keep the nightmares at bay. Abrielle kissed his forehead and whispered how much she loved him in his ear. By the time the bottle was empty, he was asleep again. Abrielle quickly swapped out the bottle's nipple for the nipple of his pacifier and gave him his beloved bee to snuggle. She was careful not to jostle him as she laid him back down in his crib. She quietly shut the nursery door and climbed back into bed. Chuck rolled over onto his side to face her.

"You okay, baby?"

"I'm fine. Go back to sleep."

He nodded almost imperceptibly, wrapped his arms around her, and was asleep again in seconds. She cuddled up to him, and was back asleep herself in no time.

Only to be woken up again two hours later.

The events of that fateful day had set a chain reaction of events in motion for Abrielle. Her family grew more protective of her, afraid to leave her alone. There wasn't a moment in the day where she was without one of her older children or her husband around the house. They circled the wagons around her, protecting her at all costs. To them she was as fragile as a glass statue, able to break at any moment. And while she appreciated their concern, it was becoming annoying.

The other change, the biggest one, came from her youngest child. From the second they had gotten home from the warehouse he had clung to her, terrified to let her go. If she tried to put him down to do something, he would scream at the top of his lungs until she picked him up again. Anytime he tried to sleep, he would wake up with nightmares, refusing to be comforted by anyone but his mother. Abrielle hadn't had a full nights sleep in well over a week, and had lost count of the amount of times she'd walked around the house in the middle of the night, praying for him to sleep so she could get to bed herself. Her eldest sons had tried to pitch in and help out as best they could, but most of the time it was a fruitless endeavor. He didn't play with his brothers or father unless Abrielle was there with him. But that would have been okay, would have meant acceptable levels of regression, if only it had ended there. Castiel had stopped talking, only babbling incoherently to himself or his family. He had stopped walking, too, and had taken to crawling around the house on the rare occasion he was put down. At first she'd thought the behavior was a conscious decision, so she'd tried her best to curb it. When the lack of sleep and screaming had taken its toll on her she'd snapped at him to be quiet and he'd cried in earnest. The reaction prompted her to look into his mind for answers, but what she found frightened her. None of the behaviors were conscious. It was like his mind was in hiding and this was his defense. Her husband and children had spouted dozens of theories for why that could be, but she didn't hear them. Her mind was too full of worry to listen. So they'd all made the decision to stay and take care of him until he was recovered. For the most part their family hadn't left the house in over a week.

Now, Abrielle sat on the white couch in the living room, unable to sleep even though she desperately wanted to. She had just finished putting her son down for his afternoon nap, and knew that sooner rather than later, he'd wake up shrieking for her. Ignoring the toys strewn all over the floor, she shuffled into the kitchen to make herself a cup of tea. She filled up the tea kettle and turned on the stove burner.

Then, suddenly, the doorbell rang. She frowned. She wasn't expecting any visitors. Luckily, Gabriel was watching TV on the sofa and rushed to get the door before the bell rang again.

Gabriel opened the door, expecting Lucifer to be there with the bag of sweets he'd asked for from the store. Instead, he was faced with the Winchester family. His momentary shock was overruled by his annoyance.

"What are you doing here?" He asked, irritated.

"We're here to see Cas." Said Dean.

"Let me rephrase: how did you find us?"

"Cas' phone has a gps chip. It doesn't take a genius to figure out how to track it."

Gabriel felt anger sweep through him. He'd told his brother to turn off Cassie's cell phone right after they'd gotten him to sleep. He was going to kill Lucifer when this was over. Still, he somehow managed to put a smile on his face.

"Cassie's sleeping right now. He won't be up for a while. But I'll tell him you stopped by." He started to close the door but Dean stuck his foot in the door.

"I want to see Cas."

Gabriel's face instantly darkened. "I said no."

The two of them stared at one another for a long time. In the distance, a tea kettle started whistling. Abrielle got up to get it and saw who was at the door. Her eyes locked with Mary's. The Winchester matriarch saw the exhaustion and pain in her face. Every mother in the world knew that look. It was the look of a mother with a newborn infant. And from what her son's had told her it didn't take a genius to figure out where it was coming from. Mary gave her a gentle smile, then put a hand on her son's shoulder.

"Dean, let's go."

Dean tore his gaze away from Gabriel and looked at his mother.

"What?"

"We're leaving."

Unseen by Dean, Gabriel gave her a grateful look. But Dean wasn't about to give in.

"Please Gabriel, I just want to see him." He said, honestly. Gabriel's hardened eyes softened, but he couldn't let him in.

"I'm sorry, but no."

Dean sighed. "Fine. But can I have a glass of water before we go."

Gabriel stared at him, obviously assessing the situation from every angle. Finally he relented. "Alright. Wait here." He closed the door and locked it before he went to get the water.

When Gabriel disappeared, Dean took his chance and went in anyways, easily picking the lock. Abrielle sat on the couch, a mug of tea in both hands. Dean didn't miss the tiredness in her eyes or the hunched in way she sat. Looking like a soldier worn down in battle, Abrielle turned to her son.

"What is he doing in here?" She asked sharply.

"What are you talking abou-" Gabriel stopped as he saw Dean in the living room. Before he could even get a word out, Mary was barreling through the room, Sam trailing behind her.

"Dean Winchester!" She said in such a disapproving way that he flinched. "How dare you intrude into their home without permission!" She turned to Abrielle, smiling apologetically. "I apologize for my son's _rude_ and _disrespectful_ behavior."

Before Abrielle could respond, a scream rang throughout the penthouse. Everyone jumped, except for Gabriel (who suddenly looked extremely nervous) and Abrielle, who just sighed exhaustedly and pulled herself up from the couch, grumbling about not being able to get a moment of peace in her own home. She hustled into the bedroom, past her inviting bed, and into the nursery, where her red-faced son was screaming himself hoarse. She pulled down the crib bar and pulled him into her arms, taking her usual seat in the rocking chair. She cuddled him close to her, singing to him and kissing him until he calmed down.

Dean stood there for a minute after the scream, unable to process what had just happened. Before he could do anything else, Gabriel was coming up to him, earlier nervousness gone and replaced with fiercely burning anger.

"We had an agreement." He hissed. "I made you a deal and you broke it. You'd protect your brother with your life but you won't let me do the same for mine. You're a hypocrite. You've betrayed my trust, pissed off my mother, and disrespected my home. Now get the hell out of here before I throw you out the door."

"I'm not leaving until I know Cas is okay."

"I told you that if something was wrong I'd tell you."

"And screaming like that means he's fine?"

"He was screaming for our mother. He got scared when she wasn't there. Doesn't he have the right to be a little clingy after what happened last week?" Dean said nothing, so Gabriel continued. "I gave you an answer to your question. It's time for you to leave now."

"But Cas-"

"Get out of here. It's family only."

"Cas is my family!" He argued.

"He may be family to you but you aren't family enough to me to know about any of this."

"Well I figured out what's going on anyways."

That made Gabriel look at him oddly. "What?"

"I figured it out last night."

Gabriel shook his head. "You don't know anything."

Dean stepped forward. "I know more than you think."

They stared at one another for a minute, but Gabriel saw that he was serious. Nonetheless, he pressed on.

"It doesn't matter what you think you do or don't know. It's time to go."

Before Dean could reply, another shriek pierced the air. He didn't even realize his body was responding for him, running toward the distressed cry. Gabriel shouted something behind him, tried to block his path three different times, but Dean managed to slip past him. He ran into Abrielle and Chuck's bedroom, heading toward the screams, only to be stopped in his tracks a moment later by the sight he'd been unprepared for.

There, sitting in a rocking chair, Abrielle lifted her son into her lap, stopping his screaming, and put a bottle into his mouth.


	5. Part 5

**Author's Note: here guys, have some feels. Enjoy!**

Dean stood in the nursery, staring at the bizarre sight. For a while he couldn't even move. He was just looking at them, bug eyed. The first coherent thought to cross his mind was that he was right. This was the undeniable proof that he'd been looking for. He should have been happy. So why wasn't he? The next emotion that hit was intrigue. What exactly was he seeing? And how had it come to be? Curiosity swirled inside him, unable to be restrained. Without realizing it, he stepped forward.

The slight movement caught Abrielle's eye, and she looked up, expecting to see one of her sons standing there. Instead, she saw Dean standing there. It took her sleep-addled mind a minute to process what she was seeing, but when she realized what was happening she was incredibly pissed off. Her protective maternal instincts kicked into high gear and she clutched her child closer to her. Her son was too vulnerable right now to be seen by anyone, let alone his closest friend.

"Scavenger!" She hissed, enraged. Gabriel suddenly appeared in the room, looking so anxiety-ridden it wasn't even funny. Abrielle slowly handed him his little brother, Causing him to spit out the nipple in his mouth and start wailing, and faced Dean, fuming with every well placed step she took. "How dare you?!" She shrieked. The items on the walls began to shake, as if an earthquake was happening. The lights started flickering, and suddenly glass items in other parts of the penthouse started exploding, all as a result of her anger. She thrust her arm out in front of her, sending Dean flying through the door and onto the bed. Moving the same arm to the right, she flung him through the French doors of the bedroom. Her ferocious need to protect her child overwhelmed her mind, overlooking her polite and perky personality. To her, this was war. "Get out of my house now!" She yelled. That moment was the culmination of her anger, fear, anxiety, Before she could even understand what was happening to her her legs gave out and she was on her knees, using the wall next to her to support herself, crying so hard that she couldn't breathe. For a minute, the Winchester family stared at her, Sam and Mary looking at her pitifully and Dean looking frightened.

It was Mary who went to sit beside her. Having felt the same lethal cocktail of emotion as a new mother, she knew just what Abrielle was going through. "Let it out, honey." She said quietly.

"I'm sorry, I just can't handle all this. It's too much. Even with my two boys and husband trying to help it isn't enough. He doesn't want to see them. He wants me. If I put him down he'll scream or cry until I pick him up again. I can't get any housework done, I can't go to work, I can't even get an hour of sleep. Every time I sleep he wakes up screaming with nightmares. Somehow I'm supposed to be able to deal with this, make dinner, take care of my husband and other two children and still be perky in the morning. I just can't take it anymore!" By the end of the outburst she was breathing heavily. The realization that she was in way over her head lifted a weight off of her chest that she hadn't realized was there. Silence followed the remark for a few moments. Finally, Abrielle spoke again. "That felt good."

"Good." Said Mary, smiling at her. She helped her up and onto the couch. "Now, what's going on with your son?"

Abrielle sighed. She might as well get it out of the way with now. "At first I thought it was a conscious decision. After what happened to me I don't blame him at all... He started regressing further. He stopped walking and only crawls around the house, he won't talk anymore- he just babbles. I thought it was a conscious choice until one night I got mad and told him to stop, and he looked at me for half a second before he started crying. When I looked into his mind I saw that it wasn't a choice at all... His mind is hiding, and this was his defense. There's nothing Gabriel or Lucifer or even Chuck can do about it. I feel so helpless... Like I'm drowning in an ocean on my own. I've never felt so terrible. Every time I get angry with him I feel so guilty. He can't control it, and I know that but I just..." Mary put a hand on hers. Every mother in the world understood the feeling. The two of them looked at one another for a moment, nodding.

Then, suddenly, Abrielle froze. "Do you hear that?"

Mary frowned. "I don't hear anything."

"Exactly."

Castiel wasn't crying. Abrielle shot to her feet and raced to the nursery, the Winchesters following. When she ran through the door she was met with a sight that made her have to cover her mouth to keep from laughing.

Gabriel was laying on the floor with his little brother sitting beside her, perfectly still as Castiel drew on his face with a tube of toothpaste. Beside him was a bottle of ketchup and one of mustard. Thankfully, neither of them had been touched yet. Abrielle wondered how he'd gotten ahold of the materials, but let it go for now. Castiel happened to look up and saw his mother. He eagerly stretched toward her and she picked him up.

"Hey there, munchkin. Now what do you think you're doing to your bubba, hmmm? Did he let you draw on him with toothpaste?"

Castiel giggled in her arms and she kissed his cheek.

She turned to her older son, smiling a little. "If he gets any of that on my carpet you're cleaning it up."

Gabriel nodded. "Gotcha."

She smiled at him and took her youngest child out to the living room, keeping him on her hip. She sat down on the couch and pressed several kisses all over his face, watching him squeal with delight. She nuzzled his cheek and then tickled him until he exploded into peals of laughter.

She was so busy playing with her son that she didn't register the phone ringing. She set her son down on the floor and went over to where her iphone lay on the coffee table, vibrating like mad as it trilled on. She slid to answer it, only slightly out of breath.

"Hello?"

"Mrs. Chuck Shurley?"

Her heart skipped a beat. "This is she."

"This is Megan Johnson of Smith County Memorial Hospital. Mrs. Shurley I'm sorry to tell you that your husband was in a car accident this morning and is in surgery right now."

She slowly sank down onto the couch, not quite comprehending her words. "For?"

"I'm sorry ma'am but I can't disclose anything over the phone."

"Of course, of course. I understand. Well thank you very much for calling."

"Thank you. I'm sorry Mrs. Shurley."

The dial tone blared at her, and she stared at her phone, dumbstruck. She'd talked to her husband just this morning and he'd been perfectly fine. She looked down at her wedding ring, wondering why in the world this was happening to her.

All was silent for a moment or two, and then the fear set in. She had to move, and she had to do it now. She got to her feet and ran to the kitchen, rummaging through one of the drawers for a pen. She raced into the living room, finding one of her legal pads from her work and started writing furiously.

"Gabriel!" She called, her voice high with anxiety.

He was there in less than a second. "Yeah?"

"You're watching your brother tonight."

"Okay... Why?"

"Your father's in the hospital. He got into a car accident this morning and he's in surgery."

Gabriel took in a sharp breath. "Is he okay?"

"I don't know. And I don't know how long I'll be gone." She said, still writing. "You know how to work the bottle warmer, don't you?"

"Yeah. Luc and I both do."

"Good." She put the pen down and ripped the piece of paper off the pad. "Here's his feeding and sleeping schedule. I wrote down a few numbers in case you need them, and instructions on how to childproof the house- you'll need them. Don't forget to give him a bath before bed. His bedtime tapes are on top of the dresser. And make sure you check his diaper at least twice an hour. I don't want him getting diaper rash."

"Okay. I'll make sure to do that. Don't worry Mom, I've got this."

She gave him a smile. "I know you do. Tell your brother what's going on and I'll call you as soon as I find out anything."

"Okay Mom. Tell Dad I said hi."

"I will." She wrapped her arms around him in a tight embrace and kissed his cheek. Finally, she went over to her youngest son, who was babbling on the floor. She scooped him up into her arms and cuddled him to herself, using him as an anchor for her emotions.

"You be good for your bubba, okay, baby boy? And say some prayers for your Daddy. I'll be back as soon as I can. Mommy loves you."

She kissed him gently before handing him to his older brother. As soon as he was out of her arms Castiel started shrieking. She tried not to let it find purchase inside her, but she couldn't help the guilt that bubbled up inside of her. Still, she pressed on, grabbing her purse and keys before heading down to her car.

The entire way there she was a nervous wreck. Her mind kept conjuring up the worst case scenarios, the doctors telling her that he didn't survive the surgery, or that he'd made it out of the operating room only to die right before she got there. She knew she shouldn't be driving in her condition, but she kept on anyways. When she pulled into the parking lot, she was unable to move. She couldn't face the possibility that the man she loved could be dead. She took a few deep breaths, trying to steady herself, and finally got out of the car. Forcing one foot in front of the other, she went into the hospital.

She somehow managed to force a smile on her face for the receptionist.

"Welcome to Smith County Memorial Hospital, how can I help you today?"

"Hello. My name is Abrielle Shurley. My husband Chuck is in surgery."

"Okay Mrs. Shurley, let me check on that for you." The seconds seemed to stretch on for years. Finally, she spoke again. "Your husband is still in surgery in OR-4 on the third floor. You're more than welcome to sit in the waiting room and when they're finished the doctor will be out to speak with you."

"Okay. Thank you."

"Of course."

Abrielle took the elevator to the third floor. There, she found the small waiting room, with it's shiny tile floor, filled with uncomfortable plastic chairs, old coffee-stained magazines, and smelling strongly of floor cleaner and disinfectant. She found a chair in a corner of the room away from the other few families waiting in there and sat there. There were dozens of magazines on the coffee tables, but none of them could capture her attention. There were two TV's in the room, one tuned to the news and the other playing "Sleeping Beauty" for the children. The music of "Once Upon A Dream" floated through the room, but it meant nothing to her. She sat there, head resting in her palm as she leaned on the arm of the chair, trying to distance herself from the place.

For a long while, all there was was waiting.

There was only one clock in the room, and it was on the wall adjacent to her. She tried to avoid looking at it, telling herself that a watched pot never boils, but every so often she gave into the urge, saddened to find the time passing by in mere fifteen minute intervals. She wished her family were here, providing a good distraction from her growing worries. She wished Gabriel were here to make her laugh, or that Lucifer were there, slinging an arm over her shoulders and reassuring her that everything would be fine. More so, she wished Castiel was there. To be able to scoop him up into her arms and kiss him and hear him laugh or babble joyfully was something she sorely needed right now. If she closed her eyes and imagined hard enough, she could hear his pealing laughter and his happy babbling. The thought made her smile.

Before she knew what was happening, she was asleep.

She awoke hours later. It was nighttime, and the waiting room was completely empty except for herself. Sometime during her sleep the other families had received news of their loved ones and had slowly filtered out of the room. Now, she was alone with her thoughts- not a place she wanted to be at the moment. She got up, stiff from sleeping in the hard chair, and went into the hall to get a cup of coffee. She returned to her chair, scared to stray far from the waiting room.

For about an hour, nothing happened. Then, a man in blue scrubs entered the room.

"Mrs. Chuck Shurley?"

She stood up so fast she spilled coffee on the linoleum floor.

"Yes?"

"My name is Doctor Doug Campbell. I performed your husband's surgery."

"How is he?" The words were small, frail.

"Your husband sustained serious injuries to his diaphragm, but we were able to repair them. We were more concerned with the several head injuries that he sustained. He experienced several concussions and serious swelling in his brain, and we had to remove a piece of his skull to let the brain swell. We have no way of testing his brain function. Without that we don't know what parts of his brain could have been damaged. We'll know more if he wakes up."

If. Those two letters were like a death sentence.

"Can I see him?"

"Of course. Follow me."

The trek down the hall seemed to last an eternity. When they arrived at room 416, Abrielle had to concentrate to keep her breathing even. She stepped into the room.

Even though the room was dark, it was easy to pick out her husband. The only sound she heard was the pull-and-suck noise of the ventilator tube that was down his throat. She followed the tube and finally looked at his face. His head was bandaged, and there was severe bruising on the left side of his face. His lower lip was swollen, and there were a few cuts on his right cheek.

He looked... Broken. There was no other way to describe it. The realization made her breath catch in her throat.

"He looks so small..."

"He has a lot of fight in him. Otherwise he wouldn't be here."

The words were meant to be a life ring in raging waters, but it was one she couldn't hold onto. She found herself spiraling into despair. The sadness made a part of her brain throb. She said nothing for a long while. Sensing her need to be alone with her husband, Doctor Campbell excused himself from the room. Unsure of how to be by herself in the situation, she called home and told her boys what she'd learned of their father's condition. When she ran out of words to say, she hung up, pulled up a chair, and sat in the quiet for a long while.

"I don't know how to do this." She said out loud. "I'm so used to having something to do that I don't know how to be by myself. I don't know why I came alone... I guess I just wanted to protect the boys. They're home taking care of Castiel. They're all pulling for you to make it. The Winchesters send their prayers. They're back home with the boys. You have to wake up, baby. I can't imagine my life without you. I need you, and our sons need you. You've come so far, you can't give up now. Please honey, tell me you can hear me. Tell me you're not giving up. I'll give anything to have you back... Just please wake up... Please..." Before she knew it she dissolved into sobs, unable to continue. Her grief and fear came in waves, fueling her tears.

When she cried herself out, she held his all-too-frail hand and talked to him until she fell asleep again.


	6. Part 6

From the moment he was put in his older brother's arms, Castiel was crying and screaming up a storm. He seemed to sense that something was wrong when his mother left, and no amount of cooing or cuddling could soothe him. There came a point when Gabriel simply gave up on trying to comfort him and focused on how to quiet him instead. He plopped his little brother on floor in front of the TV and popped in a Winnie The Pooh DVD, starting an episode. That gave him ten minutes if he was lucky. He tried getting a hold of his brother again but it was useless, so he wrote down a checklist of things to do today instead and got out all the child proofing materials. The second that that was done, his little brother started wailing again.

In the chaotic aftermath that came with Chuck's accident, the small Winchester family had easily been forgotten. When things died down, they were finally given the chance to observe Castiel. The screaming took some time to adjust to, but they quickly found it ignorable. When Gabriel left to try calling Lucifer again, Dean leapt at the chance to be alone with Cas, who was sitting quietly on the floor, sucking his thumb. Dean stepped closer to him. "Cas?" He said quietly.

Castiel didn't even look up. He just kept watching the movie.

"Cas?" Dean tried again a little louder. There was a bit of a glance at him, but then it was back to the show. The split second of attention sent Dean's hopes skyrocketing, so he tried again. "Cas!"

This time Castiel looked up at him, freezing at the tone. Dean didn't know what he expected, maybe a hello or at least some form of acknowledgement. But there was no recognition in his eyes. They were blank and innocent. He tried to find some sign that his friend was in there, but there were none to speak of. His hopes were crushed. Then, on a dime, Castiel's bottom lip began to quiver, and fat tears started rolling down his cheeks as he whimpered. Gabriel, who was listening for any sounds of distress, bolted over to his brother, scooping him up and settling him on his hip while stroking his hair.

"It's okay." He soothed, bouncing him up and down slightly. Castiel sniffled sadly and it broke Gabriel's heart. If looks could kill, the glare he shot Dean would have killed him more times over than on that fateful Tuesday near the mystery spot. Dean was tugged back harshly by his mother, who gave him a disapproving look and small speech about controlling his frustration. Gabriel ignored them. "Come on, munchkin. Let's get you something fun to do, hmmm?"

He snapped his fingers and an enlarged version of a baby play center appeared. He set his little brother down in the bouncer and watched him start to play. Still, something didn't seem quite right. Before he could ponder it further, Lucifer came sweeping through the door carrying several grocery bags. Gabriel felt relief flood through him as he went to get some of the bags.

"Luc, where have you been?" He asked.

"The elevator doors were being worked on, so I had to take the stairs when I got home. Twenty five flights of stairs with ten pounds of groceries weighing you down takes a while to climb."

"Why didn't you just fly up here?"

"There wasn't any place for me to be alone to do it, and I couldn't just disappear in a crowd."

"Fair point." Gabriel acknowledged.

"Is mom asleep? I got her those chocolates she likes." He said, tossing his brother the bag. Gabriel swallowed hard, making lucifer look up.

"Mom's not here. She's with Dad. He's in the hospital. He got in a car accident."

Worry flashed through his brother's eyes. "Is he okay?"

"I don't know. I haven't heard back from her."

They were both quiet for a minute, unable to think of any words to say. Gabriel, unable to endure the stillness, started putting the groceries away. Lucifer mimicked him and soon all the bags were empty but one. Lucifer tossed it to Gabriel, who smiled when he saw it. It was full of his favorite candies. He pulled out a bag of lollipops and put one into his mouth. He looked over at his little brother, who was now bored and fussing in the bouncer. Gabriel snapped his fingers and the play center changed. The bouncer remained (they needed to keep in one place for the time being.) but was replaced with a paint set. That Caught Cas' attention. He loved to paint. Instantly his fingers were in the blue paint and smearing it all over the paper. Gabriel watched him vigilantly, knowing that their mother would kill them if they got paint all over the house. When he saw Cassie trying to put his paint-covered fingers in his mouth, he ran over to him and gently pulled his arm down.

"Woah there munchkin, let's keep those fingers out of there for now. We don't want you getting lead poisoning now, do we?"

Castiel gave him a miffed look.

"Alright, alright. You need something to suck on. I get it." Then, an idea struck him. He took the lollipop from his mouth and popped it into his little brother's. After a few seconds of sucking, Cas was smiling. Gabriel grinned.

"Pretty good, huh? Just don't tell mommy I gave you sugar. She'll kill me. Okay?"

Castiel responded by smearing paint all over his older brother's face. Although Gabriel didn't find it very funny, Lucifer burst out laughing. He went over to his youngest brother, barely able to speak he was laughing so hard.

"Way to go, little man. You tricked the trickster!"

Castiel started giggling and Gabriel removed the lollipop before he could choke on it. Lucifer held onto it as Gabriel cleaned off Cas' hand. Once it was clean, he started tickling him, making him giggle even more. Gabriel pulled him out of the bouncer and spun him around, listening to his little brother squealing happily. When his arms got tired, he set his brother on the floor and went to look at his mother's feeding and sleeping schedule. While he was busy with that, Lucifer pulled Castiel up onto his lap and started telling him a story.

The Winchesters stood there in the middle of it, not sure of what to do with themselves. They weren't really needed there, and, in Dean's case, weren't wanted. Sam and Dean made their way to the door, intending to leave, but stopped when they realized their mother wasn't behind them.

"Come on mom, let's go." Said Dean.

Mary stood there a moment before turning around. "You boys go on ahead, but I think I'll stay."

"What? Why?"

She looked at Lucifer with Castiel in his lap. It was a mirror image of how Dean had once read to Sam. Smiling she turned to them and said "It's a mom thing."

The next few hours passed in a flurry of activity. Between trying to keep an eye on their mischievous little brother, trying to childproof the house, and keeping up with the feeding and sleeping schedule their mother had set, both brothers hadn't had a moments rest. By the time either one of them had glanced at a clock it was already nine o'clock at night. How had that happened?

Gabriel did the dishes in the kitchen while Lucifer gave his baby brother a bath. Sam and Dean had chosen to stay. Mary was busy trying to catch up on the cleaning Abrielle had missed. It wasn't until roughly half an hour later that Gabriel's phone finally rang. By then all the Winchesters were asleep in a newly added guest room. He lunged for the phone resting on the counter and answered it.

"Hello?"

"Hey honey."

"Mom. Hold on a sec, let me get Luci." He called for his older brother, who emerged with Cas latched onto his hip. He put her on speaker. "How's dad doing?"

"He has damage to his diaphragm that they repaired, but they're mostly worried about his head. He has several concussions and brain swelling, along with possible brain damage. They had to remove a piece of his skull to let his brain swell..."

"He'll be okay, though... Right?"

"They said they'll know more if he wakes up."

"If?" Questioned Lucifer.

"If." Abrielle affirmed sadly.

Gabriel slumped down a little, disappointed, but couldn't let himself break with his baby brother watching. Lucifer had the same sadness in his eyes, but it was quickly masked for Castiel's sake.

"Mom, I was just getting ready to put Cassie to bed. Do you want to say hi to him?"

"Bring him close."

Gabriel put the phone to his little brother's ear and said "He's ready" into the receiver.

"Hey there baby boy. Are you being good for your bubbas? Hmmm?" She crooned.

The way Cas smiled at her voice but started looking for her in the room was both heartwarming and heartbreaking at the same time. He started babbling into the phone. Abrielle couldn't help but smile at how he was trying to communicate. She started singing his favorite lullaby in hopes of helping her sons lull him to sleep. It worked to an extent- his eyes started to droop. So she kept at it for a solid twenty minutes, until both her boys assured her he was sleeping. After some murmured goodbyes Gabriel helped Lucifer change Castiel one last time before laying him down to sleep in the nursery.

Then, exhausted, they both flopped down onto the couch and laid there until Castiel let out his first cry at midnight.


	7. Part 7

**Author's Note: Enjoy some drama in your day, guys! Please review!**

Abrielle spent that first night in the hospital attempting to catch up on the sleep she missed. But every time she managed to get to sleep she was awakened by a nightmare. Although they all began differently, they all ended the same: with her husband dead. After the fourth nightmare she gave up on trying to sleep and just stood guard over the man she loved. Every so often a nurse or doctor would flit in and out, the doctors giving her updates and the nurses giving her sad smiles, but not talking to her. They had all been in the business long enough to know when someone wanted to talk or not, and Abrielle Shurley most certainly did not. In these early days of his diagnosis, her patterns and routines were established and set like wet cement poured into a mold.

Every morning she would wake up, kiss her husband's bruised cheek, and use the bathroom. Then she'd go and make herself a cup of coffee in the hallway. Occasionally a doctor would meet her and update her on Chuck's condition, but more often than not she was left be. Then she would head down to the cafeteria to get some breakfast. After that she'd go back up and sit with him, talking and telling him stories until she couldn't think of anything to say or she broke down crying. She'd text message her boys answers to any questions they had for her throughout the day, checking on her youngest son through them. When lunch rolled around she'd go and eat in the cafeteria before coming back. She often opened up the curtains in his room in the afternoon to let in the sun. She hoped that maybe it would wake him. Afterward she would read to him from his favorite books. She usually didn't eat much at dinner, because right after was usually when she got the doctors update. She wanted to be prepared in case some really bad news came her way. That way her food wouldn't be wasted. If she wanted something later she could easily go to the vending machine for a candy bar. Around eight or nine o'clock she'd call her boys, eager to know what they'd done that day. It was almost always Gabriel who answered the phone and chatted with her about the day. Normally by the end of the conversation he'd bring Castiel to the phone and let her talk to him. It was always one of the highlights of her day. When she had sang to him until he was asleep she would say her goodbyes and hang up the phone. Then she would kiss her husband goodnight and go to sleep herself, only to repeat the pattern the next day.

Every day she learned something new about her husband's condition. The worst news she had gotten thus far was that he could possibly wake up blind. For any other wife it would have been devastating, but to her it was a relief. Once they figured out exactly what was going on she could heal him. Until then, she'd just have to wait. Not exactly something she was good at.

It was her fourth morning in the hospital, and she had just gotten back from breakfast when she reentered her husband's room. When she got there, she felt that something was vaguely amiss, but couldn't quite put her finger on what it was. Then, she realized it.

The pull-and-suck noise of the ventilator was gone. Chuck was breathing on his own. She couldn't help the idiotic grin that crossed her face as she went over to him, kissing his cheek.

"Hey there handsome. You're finally breathing on your own. I'm so proud of you! Keep getting better, babe. I love you."

For the next hour she talked to him, keeping the conversation as light as possible. She didn't want to chance stumbling onto a negative topic. She feared if she started ruminating over all the things that had gone wrong in her life, she'd never stop. Besides, this wasn't the time for negativity. This was the time for her to be optimistic for the both of them.

Although she tried to keep her spirits high, sometimes she couldn't help herself and she faltered. A word or phrase she didn't think through would remind her of something bad, and she'd trip over her words. She'd go quiet suddenly, letting the scenario play itself out in her head. Only when she was sure it completely ended would she start talking again. She continued in her odd pattern of speaking and silence until suddenly a shrill alarm went off in the room.

It was so loud and sudden that when she shot to her feet in surprise she couldn't process what was going on. Doctors and nurses flooded the room, shoving past her and rushing her husband from the room, leaving her frozen and numb with shock. She was dazed, not quite understanding what had just occurred. No one had told her anything either, nor had they come back to explain themselves. There was just a shouting of medical jargon and a race down the hall. And where did that leave her? Powerless and without a sense of control. She didn't know what to do with herself. Part of her wanted to call home and check on her boys but she couldn't do that until she had a clear idea of what was going on with their father. She didn't want to worry them until she was sure it was necessary. Without her husband she didn't have anyone to turn to. She was on her own again, just as it had been those seven months ago. Looking back on it now, it seemed like another life. So much had changed, she most of all. All that time ago there had been an emptiness inside of her that was filled with dissatisfaction with her life. She had been on her own so long that she had begun to believe that it was always going to be that way. But one day she had dreamed of a moment with her youngest child, and it had sparked something inside of her. She had transformed herself into a woman with a mission. In finding her children, she had found her purpose in life again.

But now there was nothing left but herself.

No sound came from the monitors, leaving the room eerily silent. Although the sun shone bright and the windows were open, she had never been somewhere so dark. Without her family to buoy her, she couldn't keep her head above the rising wave of panic that was overwhelming her. In the room that smelled strongly of cheap floor cleaner and disinfectant, she found herself longing for familiarity. She took the pillow from her husband's bed and pressed it to her nose, breathing deeply. If she concentrated hard enough, she could still smell the scent of his hair after it was washed, always the same fragrance: Axe Apollo Green. She hugged the pillow to her chest, trying to stay strong. For the moment, this was all there was of her husband in this room. She felt defeated when tears rolled down her cheeks, but refused to break completely. After steadying her breathing she pulled herself back together again.

A nurse came by shortly after. "Mrs. Shurley?"

She wiped at her eyes, embarrassed. "Yes?"

"Your husband suffered continued swelling in his brain due to an artery leaking. Doctor Campbell is working on it now."

"Will there be any lasting effects?"

"I'm sorry ma'am, I'm not qualified to answer that. You'll have to ask the doctor when he comes back."

Abrielle held back a bitter retort and simply nodded. "Thank you."

The nurse nodded, then was gone.

She was still for a few moments before she found herself picking up her cell phone and dialing Gabriel's number. On the fifth ring he picked up.

"Hello?"

She smiled at his irritable tone. "You sound terrible."

"Cassie hasn't been sleeping. He's been up screaming. He cried so hard last night he threw up all over the carpet. Hasn't kept anything down since, or let anything out either if you know what I mean. If I were a human I think I'd be dead from lack of sleep by now."

"Welcome to my world, honey."

"I don't know how you do it, Mom."

Her grin widened. "Neither do I most of the time."

"How's Dad doing?"

"That's why I'm calling so early. Is your brother there?"

"Hold on a sec." She heard muffled noises coming from the other line. "He's here." Gabriel said, putting her on speaker.

"Your father was just rushed into surgery. There was an artery leaking in his brain and making it swell. They're trying to patch it up now."

"Will he be okay?"

"I'm sure he'll be fine." She said, hoping she sounded more convincing than she felt. In the distance, she heard a baby start to cry, and the twin groans of her older sons. But something about the cry troubled her, so she asked Gabriel to put the phone closer to him. The second she got a clear sound of his cry, the hairs on the back of her neck stood up. Something was wrong. Horribly wrong. She waited for Gabriel to come back onto the line. He started to speak, but she overrode him.

"Gabriel, I want you to bring Castiel to me at the hospital right now." She said in her most authoritative voice.

"Are you nuts?!" He all but shrieked.

"I've never been more sane. Something's wrong and I need to see him to figure it out. Do you remember that trick I showed you?"

"The one to make Cassie look like a little kid? Yeah, but I thought we weren't supposed to do it unless it was an emergency."

"This _is_ an emergency! Bring him to me right now. Fourth floor, room 416."

There was a barely detectable pause before Gabriel said "Okay." and hung up.

It wasn't more than ten minutes before Gabriel, Lucifer, Castiel, and the Winchester boys were at the hospital. The second Abrielle heard his cry, she bolted over to her youngest son, who was clearly distressed. She felt him shaking against her for warmth, and put a hand to his forehead. Sure enough, he had a high fever. But somehow she knew there was more to it than that.

Suddenly she was running faster than she thought she ever could, rushing to the ER on the first floor.

"Please," the words seemed to come from somebody else's lips, "someone help my son!"

An older Doctor in his late fifties responded to her cry. "What are his symptoms?"

"He has a high fever, he hasn't been sleeping, he can't keep anything down, and he's constipated."

The rest of her family and the Winchesters arrived behind her.

The doctor put a hand on his abdomen, Causing Castiel to let out an ear-splitting shriek.

"Nurse! Page Doctor Gammer in pediatrics and get me a bed for this child in OR 2 and prep him for surgery."

"Surgery?!" Abrielle repeated in disbelief as her baby was taken from her arms.

"Ma'am, I think your son is suffering from intussusception. It's where part of the intestine slides into an adjacent part of the intestine. It often blocks food or fluid from passing through. He'll need immediate surgery to take care of the problem. I need your consent before I or anyone else can provide any medical care for him. Do I have your consent?"

"Yes." She said numbly.

Just like that, her screaming child was whisked away. A nurse led her to a receptionist desk so that she could fill out the appropriate forums. The busywork kept her occupied for a short while, but when it was over and she was alone with her thoughts, she started to break. Her breathing became uneven and she covered her mouth to keep from sobbing. Finally, the full impact of what was happening hit her, and she stood up, unable to stay frozen any longer.

"I can't do this anymore." She whispered and ran to the nearest restroom.

Only when she was alone in the bathroom did she finally cry.


	8. Part 8

**Author's Note: Happy Mother's Day, folks! Have some happy feels on me! Lyrics in this chapter are from "King" by Tamar Braxton. Obviously I own nothing. Hope you guys enjoy this chapter! Please Review!**

Abrielle's tears subsided roughly twenty minutes later. Looking back, she saw that they were born of a panic attack. She picked herself up, wiped her eyes, and went back to where her sons were. She could feel them staring at her, but couldn't bring herself to look at them. She was scared that if she did it would unravel her. She took their hands instead, offering them comfort through physical contact. It was all she could manage. For a long time she sat there, feeling nothing. She was numb. Horribly and completely numb. But she kept herself composed for the sake of Lucifer and Gabriel. She knew they were scared too, even if they wouldn't admit it.

They all say there for a long time, forgetting to speak to one another. All around them there was activity, noises that meant they weren't alone. There was the sound of gurneys being wheeled in and out of corridors, the comforting beeping of heart monitors, voices talking to one another, phones ringing, and occasionally soft weeping. It should have been comforting, but somehow it made their isolation more unbearable. So they got up as one unit and moved into the hallway. Abrielle poured herself a cup of coffee.

"I think I'll stay here until your brother gets out of surgery. Your father is in OR 4. I want you to wait there for him and give me a call when he gets out. Okay?"

Gabriel and Lucifer nodded and vanished down the hall.

That left Abrielle and the Winchesters. She turned to them, looking tired.

"I assume you'll be waiting here with me for news on Castiel?"

Dean nodded. "Yes ma'am."

"I expected nothing less." She tried to smile, but it was a failure, and all of them knew it.

She moved from the hall and into the OR's waiting room.

From the moment she sat down, she found herself shielding herself from everything that was happening. It was like being trapped in a snow globe. She could see out, but she was trapped and alone on the inside. The brothers, who were sitting one chair away from her, talked to one another the whole time, but she never said anything. She was too busy trying to outrun her thoughts. Even when they caught up to her, she kept a handle on her emotions. No good could come from another breakdown.

In this waiting room were other young mothers- some with their partners or other children, and others alone. All of them shared a common link: their children were in surgery. Some of them, she knew, wouldn't make it, and they would be left bereft. Suddenly, a woman with long and curly auburn hair sat down beside her and she looked up.

"You look like hell." She said bluntly. Abrielle tried to smile.

"It's nothing compared to how I feel."

"Rough night?"

"More like rough week."

"Want to talk about it?"

She sighed. Spilling her guts to a stranger should have been something she dreaded, but she was too defeated to care. "My husband was in a car accident a few days ago and has diaphragm damage and swelling in his brain. He was doing better, but today he had to get operated on again. An artery in his brain started leaking... And now I just found out my baby boy has intussusception and needs surgery for that."

"That's awful. How old is your son?"

"He's thirteen months." Technically it wasn't a lie. The trick she'd taught Gabriel made him appear as old as he acted. Now his body was perfectly sized to her arms, and she couldn't even hold him. The thought made her heart sink in her chest.

"I can't even imagine what you're going through..."

She nodded absently, then looked up at her. "What about you? What brings you here?"

"My son has gallstones."

"I'm so sorry. How old is he?"

"He just turned three."

"I hope he doesn't remember this." Abrielle commented. The woman nodded.

"Me too." She paused a second and tried to smile. "I'm Carmen."

"Abrielle. Nice to meet you."

"You too."

They were quiet for a second or two before they started talking about normal motherhood things. What their children were like, the milestones they'd passed, and the struggles they were facing as mothers. As she spoke to Carmen, Abrielle could pretend for a single, glorious moment that everything was normal. That she was just an ordinary mom worried about her baby and a wife scared for her husband, instead of God's Wife and the mother of all angels. For one moment, she was just human.

Suddenly, a voice roused her from her conversation.

"Abrielle Shurley?"

She got to her feet so fast that if her chair hadn't been propped up against up the wall she certainly would have knocked it over.

"Yes?" She said, stomach twisting inside of her.

The nurse smiled. "Your son is out of surgery."

She took in a sharp breath. "And?"

"It went very well. He's recovering right now."

It was a load off of Abrielle's chest, and suddenly she could breathe again. "Is he awake? Can I see him?"

"He isn't awake yet, but you're welcome to see him."

Her heart missed a beat in her chest as she nodded. The nurse smiled and took her back to a smaller room. Huddled under a blanket was her baby boy, sleeping soundly in a bed that was far too big for his tiny body. The nurse left the room, leaving her with her son. She ran a hand through his black hair and found herself choked up by emotion. She kissed his forehead, his velvet cheeks, his little hands and feet. He was so precious to her, and this just underscored the point. Although she couldn't hold him yet, afraid to hurt him after his surgery, she stroked his hair and sang him all his favorite lullabies. She didn't want him to feel scared when he finally woke up. She wanted him to be comforted.

She got out her cell phone and called Gabriel, who picked up almost immediately.

"Hey. Any news?" He asked.

"Your brother's surgery went well. He isn't up yet, but I'm with him right now."

"Good. He'll need you when he wakes up."

"I know. Any news on your father?"

"Not yet."

She sighed. "Alright. Keep me posted. I'll call you when your brother is up."

"Okay. Thanks mom."

"I love you."

"I love you too."

She hung up and put her phone away. Almost as soon as she did, her son started squirming. Instantly she got up, rang for the nurses, and started stroking his hair gently and singing to him. But her sweet baby boy just cried. The nurses came quickly and took him to an inpatient unit and put a tube in his nose to help keep his stomach empty while his bowels healed. Abrielle had to hold him down to keep him still while try fed the tube into his nose, and it broke her heart as he cried and struggled against her. They put an IV into his arm to give him pain medication. Once it was in his system, he calmed immensely. She looked at one of the nurses after he was settled.

"Can I hold him?" She asked, fearful of hurting him. The nurse smiled sympathetically at her.

"Of course."

If the nurse hadn't been there she wouldn't have taken her time scooping him up into her arms. She cuddled and kissed him until he was perfectly calm. Then, getting her phone out again, she called to let Gabriel and Lucifer know that he was up. They promised to come down and see him, but the Winchesters beat them there. They stood in the doorway of the room, listening to Abrielle croon a song to the baby in her arms. Neither of them said a word, fearing that intruding on this private moment might somehow upset the tenuous balance of Cas' health. He was quiet in her arms. That was a rarity in itself.

When footsteps sounded in the hall, they turned to see Gabriel and Lucifer making their way toward the room. Both brothers stepped aside to let them through. Gabriel and Lucifer grinned at seeing their little brother wriggling slightly in their mother's arms. Both of them took turns hugging him and holding him, while their mother used a bit of her magic to pull his favorite bee from her purse along with his powder blue blanket. She held him in her arms again and held out the bed.

"Look at that, sweetheart. That's your bee, isn't it?" She cooed. Castiel reached up for his beloved comfort object and cuddled it as his mother gently put the blanket over him.

She noticed abruptly that his skin was incredibly pale and instantly reached for a nearby bedpan. She put it on the bed and turned her son on his side quick enough for him to vomit into it. All the while she rubbed his back and spoke to him as he cried. Only when she was certain it was over did she lay him on his back. Her guilt, always a low hum in the background noise of her life, now roared to life. Her baby needed her, was depending on her to make him feel better. He was scared and unable to understand what was happening, and all she could do was try and calm him. The doctor had warned her that this was a possible side effect of the pain medication, and she had tried to prepare as best she could. When the next round of vomiting came, she was ready- or at least she thought she was. She had slightly miscalculated the angle of the bedpan, and her son threw up all over her top. Luckily Lucifer and Gabriel seamlessly transitioned to take her place Comforting him and she could go to the bathroom and wash herself off.

When she came out, still wiping her shirt with a paper towel, a nurse appeared in the doorway.

"Mrs. Chuck Shurley?" She called. She stepped forward.

"I am she."

"Ma'am Doctor Campbell sent me over. Your husband just got out of surgery and it went very well. They were able to stop the leaking in his brain."

Abrielle breathed a sigh of relief. "That's great. Is he back in his room?"

"He's on his way now."

"Thank you." She said, gratefully. But before she left she paused the nurse in the hall to ask a question.

"My son is recovering from surgery as well. Would it be at all possible to have them in the same room?" The nurse looked poised to say no, but seemed to reconsider at the look on her face.

"I'll have to ask their doctors." She said. Abrielle nodded.

"Thank you so much."

"Sure."

Abrielle turned to her older sons with hopeful eyes.

"Do you mind if I go visit your father?"

"Not at all." Said Lucifer.

"Go ahead." Gabriel replied. She smiled at them, kissed their cheeks, gave Castiel a quick cuddle, then went on her way.

When she arrived at Chuck's room, the orderlies were filing out, leaving her alone with her husband. She sat beside him in her usual spot and gripped his hand. Unable to find the right words to speak, she sang a bit of one of her favorite songs to him instead.

"You're a natural leader  
Your words are alive, you're a dreamer, babe  
Your voice is like lightning and thunder  
There's no man that I'd rather be under than you, fear not

Cause I believe you're my king, king  
And I believe in my king, king  
So let my love, love surround you  
And let my love, love bring you back

Fear not, cause I'll be with you all the way  
Don't you worry it's almost over  
My king don't you be afraid, fear not  
Fear not  
And when the world starts trembling  
Just say my name  
Fear not, cause I'll be with you all the way  
Don't you worry it's almost over  
My king don't you be afraid, fear not  
Fear not  
And when the world starts trembling  
Just call my name  
Fear not  
Fear not..."

Silence came instantly after the last note hung in the air. It wasn't the unnerving silence fraught with tension that she had become accustomed to- it was a comfortable quiet. One that made her more hopeful for the days ahead. It was then that the door opened, revealing her family. Castiel was in Lucifer's arms, and he reached for his mother, still holding his bee. She gladly took him into her lap. He looked over and his father and started to whine. Abrielle rubbed his back.

"It's okay, baby boy. You know who that is, don't you? That's Daddy. Say "Hi Daddy"!" She cooed, bouncing him the tiniest bit. "Can you blow Daddy a kiss?" She asked. "Blow him a kiss." She said, blowing one herself. Castiel mimicked her perfectly and it warmed her from the inside out. Then, Castiel was reaching for his father. Carefully and with the vigilance of a hawk, she set him on the bed, still holding onto him. She watched him put his bee into his father's slack hand. She repositioned herself so that she had a free hand to clamp over her mouth. It was all she could do not to cry. Pride swelled almost painfully in her chest. Then a nurse came in and put Castiel into the bed next to his father. But this time he didn't fight or scream when they tended to him. She assumed it was due to exhaustion. Sure enough, within minutes he was asleep. Abrielle held her husband's arm, keeping the bee in his hand.

"You're son loves you very much, and so do I."

As she said the words, she thought she felt his arm flex. It was subtle and feather light, but it instantly grabbed her attention.

"Chuck?" The word tested the waters, and she held her breath. Slowly, his eyes opened.

"Can you see me?" She asked, looming over him. He tried to speak but no sound came out. She slid her hand into his. "Squeeze my hand once if you can see me."

He squeezed, and the relief overwhelmed her. "Do you know who I am?" She asked, a little frightened of the answer. He squeezed her hand as tightly as he could manage.

"My... Bree..."

She burst into tears, but this time they were joyful ones. "That's right. I'm your Bree."


	9. Part 9

**Author's Note: Hello everyone! So sorry for the hiatus, but work is taking most of my creative juices lately. But, thanks to a review from roseredblood, I got enough mojo back to give you guys another chapter! So thank youroseredblood for your kind words. This chapter is for you!**

The next two days were full of tests, wheelchairs, and being in the waiting room while her husband while seemingly dozens of doctors examined him. Every hour it seemed she was getting a new piece of news on Chuck's condition. Trying to sort through it and keep track of it was dizzying. Sometimes her boys joined her in the waiting room while their brother was sleeping. But most of the time they stayed with Castiel, keeping a sharp eye on him. When he wasn't being tested on or probed by doctors, Abrielle was with him in his hospital room. Whenever they were alone she would place a hand to his forehead, healing his brain as much as she could without it looking suspicious. Every day a part of him was restored. His doctors were thrilled with his progress and gave favorable reports that said he could leave any day, although he would need to attend physical therapy after his release. It took nine days after he woke, but finally he was permitted to go home, as was Castiel. The day of their Release, Abrielle handled everything on her own. Her boys were back home with the Winchesters, setting up a welcome home party for their father and little brother. She got a wheelchair from the room and helped her husband into it, then she settled her youngest child onto her hip. She shook all of the doctor's hands on her way out before she wheeled the chair out to the parking lot. She strapped Castiel into a car seat before helping her husband into the passengers seat. She returned the wheelchair to the nurses desk, and then went back out to drive her family home. Before they got out of the car, Abrielle put a hand to her husband's head and completely healed the rest of his brain and his diaphragm. When she pulled away, he was smiling at her the same way he used to before the accident, and it made her breathless. He reached for her hand, brought it to his lips, and kissed it gently. Then, leaning in close, he caressed her cheek lovingly.

"Bree... Thank you..." He whispered, lips inches away from hers. He gladly closed the gap and kissed her with all the tender intimacy he could muster. When they separated she pulled him into a tight hug and kissed him one more time before getting out of the car. She went to the back seat and unhooked the seatbelt from her son, who was babbling happily. She picked him up, gave him a big kiss, and set him on her right hip as she held her husband's hand on the way up to the penthouse. As soon as the door opened, everyone jumped out.

"SURPRISE!"

Gabriel and Lucifer were the first to come over, hugging their father tightly and cuddling their little brother until he squealed delightedly. The Winchesters came up next, shaking Chuck's hand and looking at the infantilized form of their best friend. The party began quickly and easily from there. Everyone gathered together and started talking, snacking on chips, pretzels, and popcorn while drinking beer. Abrielle kept Castiel in her lap, bouncing him up and down in her arms as she spoke to Mary about everything that happened happened the past week. Feeling unimportant to the conversation, Dean excused himself from the conversation to use the restroom, but found the one in the great room occupied, so he went to the one in the master suite. She was so engrossed in the conversation that she almost didn't notice her son yawning. When she did, she smiled and got up from her seat. Chuck saw this and automatically rose to his feet. She flashed him a smile and started walking toward the bedroom. He joined her halfway there, linking his arm with hers. As one, they made their way to the nursery. She set him down in the rocking chair and used her powers to return him to his normal size. Although he was easier to carry as a thirteen month old, she preferred him to be his normal size. It made her feel more needed that way. She changed him into some footed pajamas and then laid him into the crib. Unbeknownst to them, Dean, having just used the restroom in the master bedroom, was observing them from the doorway. He watched as Abrielle put the side bar of the crib down and leaned down to her son.

"I love you." She whispered. "Always, baby boy." She pressed a gentle kiss to his forehead. She smiled as he yawned one more time and his eyes fluttered shut. She stood there a moment, just enjoying the peaceful look on his face. She slipped a pacifier into his mouth before putting the side bar back up and locking it into place. Chuck snaked an arm around his wife and pulled her toward him, kissing her neck.

"I love you, Bree." He whispered. She turned to him, looking into his eyes.

"I love you too." She kissed him quickly and then moved toward the empty doorway.

Dean had settled back into his seat mere moments before the Shurleys came back into the room. Although he knew his brother and mother were expecting him to enjoy the party, he couldn't help thinking about what he had just seen. When he had first happened upon this secret he couldn't process what he was seeing. There wasn't any way to rationalize or explain it away. So his mind had stayed in shock the entire time. After the intussusception scare, he was able to think about things a little more easily. Seeing Cas at the size of a normal baby made it much easier to accept. Finally he had been able to really understand the situation and move past it. Now, seeing this made him wonder something completely unexpected: was he missing out on something? He thought about the peaceful look on Cas' face as he fell asleep and how much more joyful he had been in the months leading up to his mother's death. Maybe there was something to this idea.

The rest of the party went by at a snails pace after that for Dean. He was anxiously awaiting it's end so that he could go home and talk to his mother about these strange feelings and ideas. Finally, at around seven that evening, the party started to break up. Dean jumped at the chance to leave and got into his car. It took his mother and brother an agonizingly long time to leave, but finally they got in the car, and Dean raced home. He thought that maybe he would have to distract his brother with some complicated task, but thankfully it didn't come to that. Sam simply went to the library to read, leaving Dean and his mother to talk. He was about to speak when his mother piped up first.

"Are you going to make me ask what's bothering you?"

Dean's brow furrowed. "How'd you know?"

"A mother knows."

Dean sat adjacent to her at the table, wondering how to start this conversation.

"I saw Cas earlier while he was getting ready for a nap."

"Okay. What happened?"

"Nothing. I was just watching him and his parents. They seemed really happy."

"Ah." She said, understanding suddenly.

"Ah what?"

"You're jealous of what he has."

"Maybe." He admitted. He wasn't sure if that was quite the emotion that he felt, but it was close. His mother frowned.

"What is it?"

"I guess I'm just curious about it."

"I would be too if I were in your position. But now you have to ask yourself one important question."

"What's that?"

"Is this what you really want?"

That was the million dollar question. Was it? He took a sip of water, thinking on it. His mother put a hand over his.

"Honey, if this is something you really want then I'll help you with it, but you need to tell me if you do, otherwise I can't do anything."

Dean was quiet for a long time, unable to find the right words for how he felt. He kept teetering between yes and no. He thought about Cas and the bond between him and his mother, he thought about his own years without his mother and how much he'd missed her, he thought about what it might mean to take this step with her, and how it might change them. But one look into his mother's caring face told him all he needed to know. He smiled and put his hand over hers.

"Okay. Let's try it."


	10. Part 10

**Author's Note: Today's chapter is dedicated to Dude1231. Thanks for the review! I hope you all love this chapter!**

The next days in the Men of Letters bunker were spent with Mary trying to prepare for her son's wishes and Dean wondering what the hell he'd gotten himself into. Sam had been informed of his brother's decision, but had spent the past few days on a hunt, so he couldn't analyze his choice any further. Although Dean had wanted to help his brother out, they both knew he would need some time alone with his mother to make this adjustment. While Dean tried to prepare himself for what he'd chosen, Mary was trying to prepare a nursery for her son. The day after Dean had confided in her, Mary had called Abrielle for her opinions on different nursery furniture. Although she hadn't been able to come to the bunker personally, they had shopped together online for everything. Abrielle even went one step further and paid for all of the furniture as a gift to her friend. When it came express delivered, Mary spent almost two days putting everything together, making a nursery from nothing. The process- one referred to as "nesting" by every parenting book she'd ever read, was incredibly important to her. Every item she'd chosen had been hand picked with care. It was important to her that her son feel comfortable in here, so she'd added several personal touches to try and make it feel homey to him. There was a shelf on the wall that had miniature cars on it, ones that he loved, including (of course) his 1967 Chevrolet Impala. She put several classic rock album covers as a border of the room. Family photos decorated the walls, along with symbols that made the room completely creature proof. Even if the bunker was supposedly warded against all creatures, she wanted to be safe. Salt lined all the walls, and there was holy water stashed strategically around the room. There was even a shotgun hidden in the closet.

The furniture itself was relatively simple. There was a brown crib with a mobile resting against the side wall. Across from that was a changing table with bottles and pacifiers stashed below it, right next to the closet. A rocking chair was in the corner by a bookshelf and had a record player on top of it in case he wanted to listen to music. There was a relatively small toy chest by the end of the crib, and a dresser filled with clothes on the other end, with a small lamp on top.

It wasn't necessarily big or elaborate, but it was enough. She couldn't wait to see her son's face when he came in for the first time. She had been decorating this room on her own for a few days now, and after she finished hanging one last picture, it was finally done. She looked around, satisfied with her work. Then, smiling, she cleaned up any remnants of its preparation and shut the door behind her. After putting her hammer and nails away, she set off to find her son and hopefully make his dreams a reality.

She found him in the kitchen, drinking the last of several beers and staring into space.

"Are you ready to see it?" She asked quietly. Instantly, she had his attention. He nodded and set his beer in the fridge before following his mother to one of the many rooms in the bunker. She stood by the closed door. "Are you ready?"

It took all his strength to nod. She opened the door and stepped aside. Dean wandered into the room, attention smattered between different aspects of the room. The border made of rock albums, the family photos, and the cars made the room both familiar and new. He looked around, trying to focus on any one aspect of the room, but he couldn't. It was just so overwhelming. His mother put a gentle hand on his arm.

"What do you think?" She asked.

"Wow." Said Dean. "It's amazing."

Her smile widened. "I was hoping you'd like it."

Dean swayed side to side for a moment, unsure of what he was supposed to do now. Mary, sensing his indecision, put a hand on his back.

"Come on honey. Let's get you dressed."

He nodded automatically, not quite aware of what was happening. He knew he should probably have felt odd undressing in front of his mother, but he didn't feel anything. In no time at all he was dressed in a diaper and a plain blue onesie. He felt awkward standing in the middle of the room in this attire, so he sat down on the plush blue rug. It was soft and oddly comforting. Mary went over to her son and pressed a kiss to his forehead.

"You look so handsome." She said, going over to the crib. She handed him a blanket she'd sprayed with her favorite perfume, and watched happily as he pressed it to his nose. The familiar scent accompanied with the comforting surroundings instantly relaxed him.

Maybe a little too much.

The beer he'd been drinking earlier had gone right through him. Before he even realized what was happening, he was wetting himself. He tried to stop it but found himself incapable of doing so. The event shocked him so much that he completely froze as he finally finished. Mary noticed the look on his face and was instantly concerned.

"Baby? What is it? What's wrong?"

To his utter horror, Dean started to cry. Tears started rolling down his cheeks as the shame he was feeling sank in. He clutched the blanket to his chest and sobbed desperately. Mary instantly pulled him into her arms, hushing him and rubbing his back.

"Shhhh. It's alright sweetheart. Everything's fine. Mommy's here. I'm right here. You're fine. It's okay." She soothed.

When her words failed to comfort him, she reached for one of the freshly cleaned pacifiers under the changing table. She grabbed it and popped it into her son's mouth, instantly silencing him.

"There now. That's better." She said sweetly. Her son was still crying. It wasn't too hard to figure out what had happened once she felt the back of his onesie. Even though it had been well over thirty years since she had last changed a diaper she could still tell when one was wet. She stood up and helped her son to his feet before helping him onto the changing table. Dean was still crying in disbelief, but Mary was relieved. Now that she knew the problem, she could resolve it.

"It's okay, baby. Mommy will take care of this in no time." She promised. Unsnapping the snaps of his onesie, she easily reached his diaper and took it off, balling it up and tossing it into the trash. Then she wiped him, powdered him, and got a fresh diaper on him. By the time the diaper was on, his tears had almost completely stopped. "It's over now sweetie. You're all clean now." She said. But Dean wouldn't be soothed. So she led him over to the rocking chair and pulled him into her lap, singing Hey Jude until he stopped crying. "There now. Feel better?" She asked. Dean shook his head and took the pacifier out of his mouth.

"I can't believe I did that." He groaned.

"There's no need to be embarrassed." She said, lifting his chin slightly. "You were just doing what babies do. There's no shame in that."

The words made him feel oddly better. Somehow they removed the stamp of shame he had branded on himself. He could pretend for a moment that he really was just a baby who couldn't control himself. He looked up at his mother, who was running a hand through his hair. There was no condemnation in her eyes, no disappointment or sadness either. Only pride and love. It took the invisible shame he felt away. Suddenly, he felt completely comfortable in this room. As if he had always belonged here. He snuggled into his mother and cuddled his blanket close.

"I love you Mommy." He said in a surprisingly childish way. The words made her smile, reminiscent of the way he'd spoken to her as an actual toddler.

"I love you too, baby." She said, offering him his pacifier. He started sucking it instantly, feeling a new sense of freedom tied to the action. The nerves that had once engulfed him faded with every suck. He cuddled up to his mother and closed his eyes, suddenly peaceful. Before he knew it, he was asleep. Mary smiled down at her little boy and kissed his forehead. This was everything she had been hoping for. She lifted him until she reached the crib and gently laid him inside. Then, putting down the side of the crib, she kissed him one more time.

"Sleep tight sweetheart. Angels are watching over you." She whispered. Satisfied, she left the nursery and silently shut the door behind her.


	11. Part 11

The first day of babyhood was everything Dean and Mary had hoped for. As soon as he woke up from his nap, Dean was picked up by his mother, who instantly started playing with him. Together they played, laughed, and smiled together. When Dean got hungry, Mary fixed him a bottle to suck on until his dinner was ready. She fed him in a high chair she'd set up during his nap and fed him mashed foods until he was filled. Then she played with him for a few hours, gave him a bath, put him in his pajamas, read him a few stories, and settled him into bed.

The next morning she awoke bright and early at seven o'clock and made breakfast for herself and her son. Then, while she waited for him to wake up, she started cleaning up the bunker. She was in the middle of cleaning the library when she heard him shifting in his crib over the baby monitor. She came into the nursery just as he opened his eyes.

"Good morning sweetheart. Did you sleep well?"

He nodded, reaching up to her. She swept him into her arms and gave him a kiss. Then she took him into the kitchen where she fed him some scrambled eggs for breakfast.

"Mommy has a surprise for you, baby." She crooned. He smiled up at her, excited and curious. "But you'll have to wait until this afternoon."

He frowned at that, and she laughed. After breakfast she checked his diaper, and sat him in front of the TV to play for a little while while she made a call. Everything was still on when she hung up. She made a point of distracting her son until the clock struck noon. Promptly, there was a knock at the door.

"That's your surprise." She said, hurrying to the door. When she swung it open, Abrielle was standing there with Castiel on her hip.

"Mary!"

"Bree!"

The two of them hugged briefly and kissed one another's cheeks.

"Come on in." She said, ushering them inside.

"This place looks great." Abrielle complimented.

"Thank you. I spent the morning cleaning."

"It paid off." She said, smiling. She went over to where Dean was sitting and gently sat Castiel on the floor next to him.

"Hello Dean." Abrielle said, smiling. He waved timidly at her, remembering how angry she had once gotten at him. Castiel sat beside him, babbling unintelligibly as he played with a plastic ball on the floor. Dean started playing with the stacking cups placed in front of him. Satisfied that both boys were occupied, Mary looped her arm through Abrielle's.

"Come on, let's grab a drink."

They walked to the kitchen together, where Mary pulled a bottle of Chardonnay from the refrigerator.

"Where are Chuck and your boys?"

"He decided to take them out to a baseball game. Male bonding."

"How fun."

"For them, maybe." She said, smirking as Mary got two wine glasses from the cabinet. "What about Sam? Where is he today?"

"He's off on a hunt."

"By himself?"

Mary nodded. "He figured we might need time to adjust."

"Smart boy."

"He did get into Stanford." She said proudly.

"Impressive. I went to Radcliffe at Harvard myself."

"That doesn't surprise me."

"Really?"

"No. Where else would your sons get their smarts from?"

Abrielle laughed. "True."

Before she could take a sip of her wine, Castiel's ear-splitting cry resounded through the air. She set her glass on the counter and went over to where he was bawling on the floor. She swept him into her arms and cuddled him close.

"What's the matter, baby boy?" She asked, bouncing him up and down. It only took her a minute to realize that he needed a change. Mary showed her to the nursery and Abrielle changed her son while he sucked his thumb tiredly. When he was changed and calm, she sat him next to Dean again, and they began playing together. Satisfied, she grabbed her wine from the counter and sat with Mary on the couch.

"Has Castiel made any progress since he's been home?" Asked Mary, sipping her Chardonnay.

"Not yet. But he's still recovering from his surgery, so I'm not surprised."

"Have there been any side effects?"

"Not since he's been home, but when he was in the hospital he had the runs."

"Yikes. Thank God you didn't have to change those diapers, huh?" Mary laughed.

"Absolutely." Said Abrielle. "But I did miss doing it when he was in the hospital. Strange as it sounds."

Mary nodded sympathetically, just as the door swung open and Sam entered the compound.

"Believe me, I get it. After I passed away I would have given anything to change one of Sam's diapers."

"You never know what you've got until it's gone." She murmured.

"I'll drink to that." The two of them clinked glasses and drank some of their wine.

"Mom, I'm home!" Called Sam. He walked in to see his mother and Cas' mother sitting on the couch, wine glasses in hand.

"We were just talking about you. How was the hunt?"

"It was fine. The ghost is dead."

"That's good."

"Where's Dean?"

"With Castiel." Said Abrielle.

Sam nodded, impatient. "Okay."

Abruptly, Mary turned to Abrielle, face suddenly very serious. "Do you hear that?"

Silence greeted her question. The two of them shared a concerned look and ran over to where their children were supposed to be playing. There they were met with an adorable sight.

Both Castiel and Dean were lying on the floor, toys scattered around them. Each of them had one arm of a stuffed bear in their grasp, and both were fast asleep. Mary turned around to her youngest child.

"Sammy, go find the camera and bring it here."

Sam looked at her bizarrely but did as he was told. When he came back, Mary took several pictures before putting the camera away. Abrielle quickly conjured up another crib for her son. Then, as one, she and Abrielle picked up their children and set them both in a crib. Both of them kissed their children and whispered something special to each of them before letting them sleep.

Together they collapsed back on the couch.

"Motherhood can be a real job, but moments like that make everything worth it." Said Abrielle. Mary smiled.

"I couldn't agree more."

Abrielle picked her glass. "To our boys."

Mary's grin widened. "To our boys."

With a clink, they finished their wine glasses. Mary managed to laugh.

"Now this is a play date to remember!"


	12. Part 12

It took about two hours before the boys woke up again. As anticipated, Castiel woke long before Dean would have and began to cry. Unfortunately, his cries startled Dean awake. It wasn't long before Abrielle came into the room, easily picking up her child and whisking him away, hoping that Dean could still get back to sleep. Mary entered the nursery to see her son staring out the side bars of the crib. When he saw her, she scooped him up into her arms and sat down in the rocking chair.

"Hey there, sweetheart." She whispered. "Do you want to go back to sleep?"

He nodded, snuggling up to her.

"How about I sing to you?" She asked. He smiled and nodded happily. In seconds she was singing "Hey Jude" to her son. The familiar tune eased him back to sleep. Mary tucked him into bed and gave him a kiss before rejoining Abrielle and Castiel on the couch. Abrielle was crooning a song to her son, hoping to soothe him, but he wouldn't go to sleep. When he wouldn't sleep, she started walking around with him, hoping the motion would lull him back to sleep. Somehow it worked, and she laid him back into the crib and let him sleep. When she went back to sit on the couch she didn't notice Sam wandering over to the nursery.

He opened the door slightly and peered inside, careful not to let it make any sound while doing so as he looked at his sleeping brother and his close friend, both fast asleep in oversized cribs. The sight was as bizarre as any he'd seen in all his years as a hunter, but he never made a peep about it. In the last few days of hunting he'd kept fairly busy. It had been easy to find ways to fill his time during the day. But during the night, just before he went to sleep, he'd had time to think about what was going on at home. He worried about this experience not being enough for Dean. But deep, deep down, he found the lifestyle bizarre, and couldn't imagine his older brother doing it. It was one thing when Cas was doing it, that was out of his hands. But Dean was another story. His fear that this would somehow hurt his brother had taken over before his first day of the hunt had even ended. He had spent much of the free time he had after that putting together a speech about how this was a bad idea and that they all should drop the subject. But now, seeing him this way, so innocent and peaceful, it erased his fears. Smiling, he shut the door, and went to the library to read.

Meanwhile, Abrielle and Mary were on the couch, talking and eating some cheese and crackers as they worked on their second glasses of Chardonnay. Abrielle looked at her friend, and saw the look of tired sorrow on her face. Placing a hand over hers, she looked at her sweetly.

"What's wrong?"

Mary sipped her drink and sighed. "Just thinking."

"About?"

"My husband."

"What about him?"

"Just about how he's missing all of this. It's no fun doing all of this if there's no one to share it with. No offense."

"None taken." She said with a smile. "I know what that feels like. After Chuck sent me away I had to do things on my own. Every time I accomplished something I had no one to share it with. It was lonely."

Mary nodded. "I miss him so much."

Abrielle squeezed her hand. "I may just be able to help with that."

Mary's head shot up and her heart skipped a beat. Could that mean what she thought it meant?

"Do you have a picture of him?" She asked.

Mary pulled the photo of him from the coffee table and handed it to her. Abrielle took in a deep breath, then concentrated her hardest on the picture in front of her.

Then, in a burst of light, he appeared. Mary's heart started racing in her chest and she ran over to him. She leapt into his arms and pressed her lips to his own, surprising him.

"John..." She whispered in his ear.

"Mary... I missed you so much." His voice was gruff with emotion.

"I missed you too."

Abrielle smiled at them. It reminded her of herself and Chuck.

When the unreal feeling of seeing him again passed, she turned to Abrielle and enveloped her in a tight hug.

"Thank you. Thank you so much." She whispered, wiping tears from her face.

"Always." She promised.

"Sammy, come out here!" Called Mary.

"Yeah?" He called, rounding the corner. He froze when he saw his father, and then went to embrace him.

"Hey Dad." He said quietly.

"Hey Sam."

The three of them sat on the couch and started talking. Abrielle wished her friend well, but decided to take her leave early so that they could bond. She gathered Castiel into her arms and then went home.

From the moment John was resurrected the day took on the hazy edges of a dream for Mary. Every moment of togetherness was perfect, and she couldn't have been happier. When Dean awoke to see his father standing beside the door, his face broke into the biggest grin. Well, until he remembered where he was and what he was wearing. But Mary patiently explained that he had already been informed of the situation and that he didn't mind. When John held his son for the first time in years, it choked Mary up with tears. As a family, they had dinner, they talked to one another, and reluctantly went to bed at the end of the day.

John's return had also sparked a change in Mary and Abrielle's relationship. Suddenly they were more than just friends- they were closer than sisters. With their sons in Similar situations, they had a lot to talk about. They had play dates together at each other's houses at least two or three times a week, sometimes even more. They talked and laughed together easily, talking about the trials and tribulations of parenthood and about life in general. John and Chuck too had become close friends, usually having a beer and talking about sports and hunting and writing. The two families became so close that they began referring to each other as Auntie and Uncle to their children.

Today, on a bright and sunny September day, the Winchester household was just waking up. Mary heard Dean beginning to stir in the nursery, so she rolled out of bed and went to tend to him. When she entered the nursery and went to his crib, she saw him staring at her, smiling.

"Good morning, sweetheart."

Dean rubbed his eyes tiredly as his mother checked his diaper. Finding it dry, she took him to the kitchen for breakfast. As Mary began preparing breakfast, Dean sat at the table, legs swinging back and forth as he waited for his food. At some point as he waited, Sam and John joined him.

"We're going to see Cas and Auntie Bree and Uncle Chuck today, right Mommy?"

"That's right."

"Are Gabe and Lucifer gonna be there too?"

"I don't know. I guess we'll have to see, won't we?"

"Yeah. When are we leaving?"

"Before lunchtime."

Dean pouted at that. "Why can't we go sooner?"

"Because that's when they asked us over."

"Can't you just call and ask? Please?"

"Honey they might have things to do before we come over. We shouldn't be rude and impose on them like that."

"But-"

"No buts. Eat your breakfast." She said, putting a plate of mashed fruit in front of him. He grumbled something unintelligible before his mother was spoon feeding him his fruit. When his plate was empty, Mary was quick to distract him before he could start complaining again.

"Why don't you go put the toys you want to bring with you in a backpack?" She suggested.

"Okay!" He said brightly, running off to the nursery.

Mary breathed a sigh of relief before eating her own breakfast. After she finished she did the dishes, gave Dean a bath and helped him dress, showered, dressed, did her make up, cleaned the bunker, and charged her cell phone. By the time she was done it was almost 11 o'clock. She got everything she needed in her purse, then put it in the car. Finally, she went to the nursery.

"Dean, it's time to go."

Dressed in a white T-Shirt and pair of shortalls, Dean popped up from his spot on the floor in a second and dropped his dinosaur action figures instantly. He grabbed his backpack from under his crib, put his shoes on, and carried his beloved teddy bear to the car.

The entire ride there Dean bounced up and down in his seat, excited to see his family. When they pulled up to the building, he put his bear in his backpack and held his mother's hand as they went inside and got in the elevator. In no time at all, they were ringing the doorbell to be let into her penthouse suite. Abrielle opened the door and pulled Mary into a fierce hug. She then shook John's hand, hugged Sam, and kissed Dean's cheek. Mary went in and gave chuck a hug, kissed Castiel's pudgy cheek, and waved hello to Gabriel and Lucifer. Then, making sure her son was settled in, she moved into the kitchen with Abrielle where they prepared lunch together.

After making sure the kids were fed, they let them play for about an hour or so before they mutually decided that it was nap time for their children. They went over to where the boys were playing.

"I know two little boys who need a nap." Said Mary, picking up her son. Dean squirmed in her grasp.

"No." He whined petulantly.

"Yes." She said firmly. "Come on little one, I'll read you a story first."

Reluctantly, Dean agreed.

Half an hour later, both mothers emerged from the nursery tired but happy. Grabbing the two margaritas she'd made earlier, Abrielle handed Mary her drink and they started talking.

Around two hours later, Abrielle excused herself to use the restroom. While she was there she decided to check on the boys in the nursery. She peeked through the door only to find a sight that iced her blood and made her heart stop in her chest.

Two empty cribs.

She flung the door open and started looking for them, but there was no one there. She whirled around and ran out to the living room, where Mary sat with her margarita.

"They're gone." She whispered. Mary shot up instantly from her seat.

"What did you say?"

"Their cribs are empty. They're gone."

Mary dropped her margarita, not even hearing the glass shatter as it bounced off of the coffee table and hit the floor. She ran into the nursery to be greeted by the same sight Abrielle had seen. Two empty cribs.

Her son was gone.


	13. Part 13

The most primal kind of terror settled into Mary Winchester's stomach as she stared at the empty crib where her son had once lain. All that was left was his teddy bear and blanket. She picked up the bear and held it in her arms, shellshocked by it all.

"He's gone." She said to no one in particular.

Then, adrenaline rushed through her system, urging her to do something. She ran out of the room, shrieking for her husband.

"John! John!" She screamed, running frantically toward the back patio where Chuck, John, Sam, Gabriel, and Lucifer were known to congregate. She bolted to the sliding door, yanked it open and ran for her husband, unaware that she was sobbing hysterically as she launched herself into his arms. "John..." She cried.

"What is it? What's wrong?" He asked, instantly worried.

"He's gone." She sobbed. "Our son is gone."

"What?" He said, not instantly registering her words.

"He wasn't in his crib. Cas is gone too."

"What?" Chorused Chuck, Lucifer, and Gabriel. All of them ran through the house in a pack.

When the nursery door slammed open, they saw Abrielle standing over her son's crib, his favorite bee in one hand, still clearly in shock. Chuck raced to his wife's side, putting both hands on her slim shoulders.

"Bree?" He asked. She didn't respond. "Bree?" He tried again, shaking her slightly. With a slight gasp, she finally looked at him. He stroked her cheek gently, snaking an arm around her.

"He's gone." It was an emotionless deadpan.

He hugged her tightly, unable to find any words to express how sorry he was for her and how fearful he was for his son.

"I know."

"He's just a baby, Chuck. You and I both know he can't take care of himself right now. He couldn't fight back and they knew that!"

He nodded.

Then, in the midst of the chaos, Mary's cell phone began to ring.

Wiping her eyes, Mary stared at the unknown number before answering.

"Hello?"

"Mommy?"

She drew in a sharp breath. Suddenly her every instinct was in high alert. She pushed the button and put her phone on speaker.

"Baby? Are you okay? Where are you?"

"I don't know..." His voice was small and still sleepy. Clearly this had been a rude awakening for him too. "I can't see anything. It's too dark." The words were a frightened squeak, a far cry from the happy child she had put down for a nap just a few short hours ago. "I'm scared..."

The words broke her heart, and she tried to swallow the lump in her throat.

"Don't you worry, baby. Mommy's coming. I'll be there as soon as I can. Is Castiel with you, honey?"

"Yeah... He's sleeping."

"Good. You keep an eye on him, okay? He'll need you to help him out until we get there. I need you to be a big boy for me now. Can you do that for me?"

"I'll try."

"Good." Before she could say anything more, she heard sounds of a struggle that made her heart pound in her chest. She heard the distinct sound of someone being struck, and her son's pitiful whimper after it was over. The noise unleashed in her a powerful, instinctual anger that was unlike anything she had ever felt. It made her face contort into an expression of pure rage that made her both beautiful and frightening.

"Who is this?" She growled.

"That's not important. What is important is that I have your son."

"What do you want with him?"

"I don't want him for anything. But the services of God and two of the best hunters the earth has ever seen would be quite useful to me."

"If you really think I'd help you then you must be sicker than I thought you were."

"Fine. Don't help me. I guess you don't want to see your son alive again."

There was a beat of complete and total silence in the room. Every eye was on Mary, wondering what she would do next. The words she said were calm, but each was spat out with venom.

"If you touch one hair on my son's head, or even so much as breathe in the same direction as him, you will have resigned yourself to the most agonizingly painful end that any creature will have ever experienced. I will hunt you down and watch the light die from your eyes as you begin the long road to death. I will take everything you have ever loved and destroy it in front of you. And as you gaze upon the smoking pile of wreckage that was once your life, you will regret ever having crossed my family."

"You'll have to find me first." Came the retort.

"Is that a challenge?"

"Does it have to be?"

"No. It'll just give me one more reason to find you and expose you for the coward you are."

"Is that a threat?"

"No. It's a promise."

"A word of advice: never make promises you can't keep."

Before she could reply, she heard her son shriek in the background before the dial tone blared at her. The call had ended.

Then, like her friend, Abrielle's phone began to ring. She put it on speaker and answered. Instantly, she heard the familiar cry of her son. The blood drained from her face, making her blanch whiter than a calla lily. Her hands started trembling and she took in a shaking breath. Mary reached out to hold her hand.

"Where is my son?" She asked, her voice stronger than she felt. A chuckle came through the line.

"He's fine for now. And he'll stay that way if you cooperate with me."

"I'd never-" before she could say more she heard the sounds of violence in the background, and her baby shrieking. She let go of Mary's hand and clamped a hand over her mouth.

"Want to try that again?"

"What do you want?" It was a whisper.

"You'll find out soon enough."

She heard her son screaming again. It was hard enough to hear that, but just before the line went dead she heard him scream out one word:

"Momma!"

It was the first word he'd spoken in almost a month. It should have been the ultimate high for her. Now it just served as a dark reminder of what she'd lost.

"I'm going to be sick." She ran to the bathroom, where her stomach tried to escape out of her mouth.

Meanwhile, Mary stared blankly at the phone for a moment before her anger took over. Before she even realized what she was doing she had put her fist through the wall. Breathing heavily, she slowly came back down from her anger high and started thinking rationally. She had to do something and she had to do it now. She turned on her heel and grabbed her purse. She was still a hunter, and she was prepared for anything. She pulled a nine millimeter glock from inside and cocked it. She had silver bullets in it, making it the perfect portable weapon. There was a flask of holy water in one of the pockets, along with a container of salt and a pocket knife. The rest of her supplies would be gathered when she knew what she was dealing with.

She turned to her husband and looked him firmly in the eye.

"I have to go, John."

"I know. But you aren't going alone. I'm coming with you."

"No you're not. I need you to keep an eye on Sammy. I've already lost one son to these creeps and I'm not losing another one. I'll be fine."

"Sam would want to come with you."

"I know. But I need him here running point in case I need technical support."

"You really think you'll be alright on your own?"

"My baby needs me. No one would dare mess with me right now. Nothing is going to stop me from saving my son. Not his kidnappers, not a lack of evidence, and certainly not you. And if you want to try and stop me then you can just sign the divorce papers now and make it easier on yourself. I will save my son and I'll do it with or without your help."

He stared at her for a moment, as if trying to gauge if she was crazy or not, before smiling. "I'll always be there to help. Just be careful."

"I will. I promise."

She sealed it with a kiss.

"You're not going alone." Said a voice. Mary turned to see Abrielle coming toward her. "They have my son too, and I have to get him back." Mary nodded.

"Let's go." She said before heading down to the garage.

It was time for her to save her son.


	14. Part 14

**Author's Note: thanks to Dude1231 for your review. This one's for you!**

Mary and Abrielle drove back to the bunker, stocking up on hunting supplies and trying to figure out what the next step in finding their children. When they sat on the couch this time, it wasn't for easy conversation between mothers. It was for plotting out a way to bring their boys home. Instead of a bottle of Chardonnay and some wine glasses, the coffee table was cluttered with maps, a laptop, and Mary's phone. Plugged into the laptop, Mary pulled up the call history on her phone before typing the number into a reverse phone lookup website. After paying the measly two dollar fee, she found that the call originated from the same warehouse where Abrielle had been killed and she had been resurrected. So that was the first stop on their quest.

Coming back to the warehouse was an eerie experience for Abrielle. So many memories, so much of who she was happened here. There was great terror in walking into the place. Her mind conjured up flashbacks to that terrible day, trying to trap her in her past, but she pushed on past her memories and started looking for any clues to where the boys could have been taken. While she was scouring the floor for evidence, Mary called out to her.

"Bree! I found something!"

Abrielle was there instantaneously. Hanging by a thread on the door lock was a small scrap of denim fabric- and with only one look, Mary knew it had come from Dean's shortalls. She pressed it to her chest. "They were here." She said, feeling hollow.

"Yes." Abrielle said quietly. The two of them decided to follow the trail outside. In the glow of dusk, the warehouses were gray clustered buildings divided by dirt paths. Together they scanned the perimeter of the building but found nothing. However, following the path brought them to an open gate that had a camera attached to it. Mary whipped out her phone to call her son while Abrielle obtained it's memory card, then, in a rush, they drove to the bunker to get the clue to Sam's laptop.

Although Mary had driven them there, Abrielle drove them back. Mary found herself distracted by the scrap of fabric she'd found in the warehouse. She held it in her hands, turning it over with her fingers. It was the only evidence they'd found that proved that their sons had indeed been taken. The second she had set her eyes on it, she knew it belonged to her son. She couldn't explain it, this sudden knowing. It was pure instinct. Just seeing the piece of denim was enough to undo her, but she held herself together. The time for falling apart and being overwhelmed with emotion would come later when her son was safe. Right now he was in a delicate state, and she had to find him before the damage became irreversible. She knew her boy well enough to know what sort of state he was in and how soon he would shift out of it. The last time they'd spoken he was in his regressed state. And why wouldn't he be? He had gone to sleep safe and sound and had woken up in an unfamiliar place far away from those he loved. The hunter in him would have been able to handle this easily, but the hunter wasn't in control of his mind right now. His inner child was.

She knew that he needed time and quiet to transition between the two, something she was sure he wasn't getting. He had awakened as a child, and he would stay that way until she came. It made her more determined to get to him. There was no way he could protect himself now. The shield of adulthood had been taken away, leaving him exposed and vulnerable to exploitation. Physically and mentally, he was being held hostage, and it broke her. Every time he was in pain, she sensed it. From her intuition, she had cobbled together a picture of what he was going through, and it terrified her. It iced her veins and sent chills down her spine. Clutching the scrap of fabric to her chest, she prayed that he would be alright.

Meanwhile, in a darkened room that smelled of raw sewage, Dean Winchester hung chained to a wall. He was so exhausted that he could barely keep his eyes open. He wasn't sure how long he'd been here, in this room with rusty chains and minimal furniture, but he knew he wouldn't be leaving soon enough. There was so much he had to be scared of here. The bad men beat him with whips and belts and their hands, making him bleed in places and making his body black and blue. Big Dean would have been able to handle this and more, but he wasn't Big Dean now. He was Little Dean- the little boy who was afraid of the dark and loved to snuggle up with his Mommy to read a story. He wanted to try and be big, but every time he tried someone would come and hurt him or he would fall asleep halfway through. Whenever he looked down, he was reminded of his littleness. He was still in his white shirt, shortalls, and Velcro shoes. The diaper underneath them had been soiled long ago, and had leaked all over his clothes and the floor. No one had bothered to offer him a bathroom or change him since he'd been there. Any time he remembered the discomfort, he'd start to cry to himself until someone came in barked at him to shut up. Instantly that would make him quiet until the cycle repeated itself again.

The only sounds that he heard came from down the hall. He and Cas had been separated as soon as they had arrived here. The only way he knew Cas was still there were the sounds of his crying and screaming bouncing off the walls. The only time they ceased were when he was asleep.

Now though, he was completely alone. Cas' screaming had been easy to get used to, and now they were only background noise. He started whimpering to himself when he wet his diaper again, and his chains rattled as he instinctively tried to put his thumb in his mouth. No such luck. He tried to distract himself by looking around the room and finding something to focus on, but it was useless. The only furniture was an old chair and a boudoir that held different types of weapons. Both were shoved in a corner, making them unimportant. He could have focused on Cas' crying, but he knew that would make him cry too, so he tried not to think about it. He closed his eyes and thought about his family. The way Mommy smiled at him when she was proud of him, or how she told him he was a big boy when he'd gotten a shot at the doctors and hadn't cried, or how she whispered that Angels were watching over him before he went to sleep. He'd prayed for the angels to come and save him, but no one came. He thought about his Daddy, and how he would have wanted him to be strong and not be scared of the men. He wondered about Sammy for a while too, questioning if his brother was looking for him like Mommy was. The image of the three of them stuck in his mind. He tried to be strong for them for as long as he could. Before he finally passed out from the pain and exhaustion, he wondered if he would ever be found, and prayed that his Mommy would be there soon.


	15. Part 15

**Author's Note: A special thanks to my best friend Ayla for helping me with this chapter! This one's for you!**

Mary and Abrielle made their way back to the bunker where Sam, John, and Chuck were awaiting their return. Lucifer and Gabriel had chosen to stay at the penthouse, where they spent their time scrying, broadcasting through angel radio, and trying to find a trace of their brother anywhere. While Sam ran technical point from his laptop, Chuck was directing them with what they were supposed to be doing, while John was trying to narrow down the list of creatures that could have taken them. He eliminated nocturnal creatures since the boys had been taken during the day, and creatures who couldn't have gotten as high as the penthouse reached. None of the windows were broken, so that eliminated creatures that could fly. He was in the middle of exploring the possibility of a wraith committing the crime when his wife and Abrielle came through the door.

Normally when she got home Mary would kiss him, ruffle Sam's hair as she walked by, and go check on Dean. Now she strode past him and went straight to Sam, handing him the tiny bit of evidence they had found. Sam put it in the computer while both women stood behind him. Like moths to a flame, both husbands gravitated toward their wives, trying to buoy them with their presence. Sam pulled up the video feed and fast forwarded until around the time their boys were first found missing. A white van pulled up into the dirt path around twenty minutes after they had first disappeared. They left about forty minutes later. Using his laptop, He was able to pull up the license plate and found that the van was registered to a Brock Wyndham who lived half an hour away from the bunker. Mary was about to head off to the car when a window popped up on the computer. After a few seconds of blackness, an image slowly came to light. When it did, Mary couldn't help the terrified and disgusted squeak that came out of her mouth.

There was her baby boy, hanging from a dirty wall by old chains. His face was shaded different colors depending on how old the bruises were, with one eye completely blackened and screwed shut. Blood was coming down his right temple, and from a cut on his cheek, and his bottom lip was swollen. And that was only his face. The rest of his body was just as bad, if not worse than that. Although his mother couldn't see it, his back was the worst of all. Aside from bruises, there were several deep lacerations on his back, formed from dozens of whippings and strikings with a belt.

"Greetings." Hissed a familiar voice. John moved to grip his wife's hand when he heard it. Nobody said a word, and a pin could be dropped in the quiet.

Slowly, purposefully, they turned him around as they stripped him of his clothes. When his back was finally revealed, Mary had to clamp a hand over her mouth to keep from screaming. Long red gashes cut into his back. The sight was enough to make her sick. But knowing that he needed her, and that Sam needed her, held her in place.

Suddenly she caught movement from the side of the camera, and saw Castiel being brought in beside him. Unconsciously, she reached for Abrielle's hand. In almost a perfect mirroring of their mothers, Dean gripped Castiel's hand, trying to keep his promise to his mother. He would protect him as much as he could. Both John and Chuck had their hands on their brides' shoulders, trying to keep them steady.

"I know you're wondering what we want from you. And I'll tell you now. If you tell me what I want to know, no more harm will come to your children and I will tell you where to find them."

Mary took in a deep, slow breath. "What do you want?" Her voice was much stronger than she felt at the moment.

"First, I want to ask Chuck my questions. Then I'll get to you. But if you lie to me, or don't give me a sufficient answer, both of your children will be beaten severely."

He turned the camera to the boudoir in the corner. When opened, it revealed an assortment of weapons. The two mothers shared a terrified look, and their husbands tried to comfort them accordingly.

"First question: what do you know about dragons?"

Chuck was so struck by the absurdity of the question that he thought he'd misheard and couldn't respond right away.

"Dragons? They haven't existed for millennia. They went extinct long ago. When they were alive they were greedy, aggressive creatures who lived in high caves and slept upon the treasure they gathered. They also possessed a unique ability to appear human if needed to gather food, jewels, or whatever else was necessary for them to survive."

"Why did they become extinct?"

"They weren't breeding quickly enough."

"You made two of every animal for the ark, correct?"

"Yes, but-"

"Get out the belt!"

Abrielle felt the most undiluted fear rip through her stomach. A masked assailant came up beside Castiel, holding the belt.

"You have five seconds to answer."

"The males were stricken by disease. Most of them died before the females could be impregnated."

"So why were they not reborn by Eve?"

Chuck blinked in confusion. "What?"

He snapped his fingers, and the masked man raised the belt, preparing to strike. Just before he moved, he was startled by a shout.

"WAIT!"

Every eye turned to Dean, who was looking at his torturer.

"Take me instead." It was a timid whisper. The man asking the questions laughed.

"Why on earth would I do that?"

"'Cause if you hurt Cassie he has lots of brothers and sisters who are gonna be looking for you. I only have my brother and Mommy and Daddy. It's safer for you that way."

There was a long pause. "As you wish."

Unseen, Dean squeezed Castiel's hand. Then, the first lash hit his back. There was a sharp moment of pain that slowly dulled as he felt the blood trickle down his back.

Chuck hurriedly explained that Eve had been captured before she could help restore the dragons, but that they had always been some of her favorite creatures. Somehow the reply angered their host, and Dean was whipped accordingly.

After a stiflingly long q and a session, the attention was turned to the Winchesters.

"What weapons do you know that can kill dragons?"

"The Sword of Bruncvik, Excalibur, and St. George's Sword. Those are the only ones." Said Sam.

"You're sure?"

"Positive."

"What would be the best way to kill a dragon?"

"Strike it in the heart or sever the head."

"What's the best way to hide yourself from them?"

"Stay underground."

The man paused. "Alright. I have what I need."

The man switched off the camera and sent the location to their computer before taking one last look at the boys. Drugging them both before releasing them, he and his crew gathered their supplies before attempting to disappear.


	16. Part 16

When the address came to the computer, Mary and Abrielle ran out the door while their husbands and Sam trailed behind them. They broke the law on several occasions as they sped toward the location. All the way there, both mothers worried over their children. Although everyone in the car reassured them that they would be fine, their fear persisted. Abrielle called Gabriel and Lucifer to let them know what was happening, and had them begin searching for the boys while they drove there. When they arrived, the sky was a dark blue as night blanketed the city. On this starless eve, tension hung in the air, making it thick as a knife. Abrielle and Mary burst through the doors, hearts pounding in their chests as they scanned the room for their sons. When the initial look over passed, their first thoughts were that they'd been lied to.

That is until Mary saw the manhole in the ground.

John and Chuck moved it, and the women jumped in the sewer without hesitation. They ran through the corridors, shouting for their children, until they came to a metal door. Their hearts skipped a beat, and they motioned for the men down there with them to help open it. As they backed away from the door to have it opened, they held one another's hands. This could be it.

The door opened and led to an enclosed room with another door. Mary stifled a sigh of disappointment as Abrielle raced toward the door. Mary easily caught up with her. The second door led to a hallway that was at least twenty feet wide with dozens of doorways. Both mothers fretted about how they would find their boys in this rats maze, but then Abrielle heard it: a faint crying in the distance.

Her baby's cry.

A rush of adrenaline made her ears pound. Suddenly it didn't matter that her legs were burning from all the running or that she hadn't had a good nights sleep in nearly a month. The sound of her son needing her surpassed everything else. Her feet were flying forward before she even realized what was happening. Her ears attuned themselves to his cry, and her mind focused solely on the sound, placing it's origins in a way no human could. The louder his cry became the more desperate she became to halt it. Finally, she reached the door and flung it open.

Both Castiel and Dean were laying on the cold ground, Castiel was crying and shrieking loudly, flaying his limbs around, but Dean was curled up in a ball, not moving much at all. Both mothers ran to their children.

Abrielle instantly gathered her screaming child into her arms, hushing him quietly and bouncing him up and down gently until he calmed down some. She clutched him closer to her, inhaling the sweet, powdery scent of him and the baby shampoo smell in his hair. She showered him with hugs and kisses, telling him how much she missed him and how proud she was of him. Tears of relief streamed down her face as she cuddled him close to her. Finally her baby was safe in her arms.

Mary rushed over to where her son lay, but stopped short when she saw him. He was curled up, as if he couldn't make himself small enough. His shortalls were soaked with urine- she could smell it- and his entire body was covered in a thin sheen of sweat as he shivered uncontrollably. Her first instinct was to think that he had a fever. But she knew that was impossible. He had only been gone a day at most. Signs and symptoms would have presented themselves before then. Besides, Castiel wasn't sick at all. Knowing how close their boys were, she knew he would have caught something too. This was something else entirely.

"Dean? Sweetheart? Can you hear me?" She asked, stroking his hair. He didn't respond to her, making her worry. Carefully, she uncurled him and got his wet shortalls off, knowing that was part of the problem, and then removed what had to be the most wet diaper she had ever changed. Having brought a diaper bag with her, she changed him quickly, saddened by the knowledge that he would have severe diaper rash for quite some time thanks to this. She wiped his entire bottom half with wipes, knowing it would be the closest thing he got to a bath for a while. Then she put on a new set of shortalls on him, and changed his shoes and socks. Now that he was cleaned up, she focused on his warmth. She covered him with his favorite blanket, trying to preserve his body heat. Still, his eyes were glassy and unfocused. She was so distracted that she almost didn't see the small puncture wound on the side of his neck.

He'd been injected with something.

She inhaled a sharp breath and gathered her son into her arms.

"It's okay baby boy." She whispered. "Mommy's going to make you all better."

She turned around to see her husband and son standing behind her. How long they had been there, she didn't know.

"He's been drugged. The both of them have, I think. I'm taking him to the hospital."

She whirled around and looked at her best friend, who looked terrified. She nodded to her, trying to comfort her without contact. Side by side, they carried their children through the sewers, meeting up with Lucifer and Gabriel on the way. They all piled into the car and raced off to the hospital together. Pulling into the ER parking lot, the two women carried their children into the emergency room. Then, scared and unable to do anything more, they watched as their boys were lifted onto a gurney and wheeled away. Numbly, both of them sat down in the uncomfortable waiting room chairs as the rest of their families filed in to sit with them. Abrielle reached out to grip Mary's hand, flashing back to the last time she sat in this very room. It made her stomach churn just thinking about it. But there was one difference between now and then:

This time she wasn't doing this alone.

The thought made her smile, and she squeezed her best friend's hand. They would get through this, and they were going to do it together.


	17. Part 17

The hours seemed to pass by at a snail's pace. Although the Winchester and Shurley families sat together, occasionally remembering to talk, the vast majority of their time together was spent in an uncomfortable silence. Facing the unknown future of their children was not something to be taken lightly. Trying to make small talk in a situation like this seemed impolite and insulting to the circumstances.

Both Abrielle and Mary had pulled the doctor in charge of their care aside and explained their lifestyle and behavior to him to ease any confusion over their peculiar behavior once they awoke. To his credit, the doctor kept a straight face. The two women also asked for him to contact the authorities to help track down the kidnappers. When the police arrived, all of them gave their statements about what had happened, having explained their sons behavior before anything started. Then, trying to keep it together as best they could, they wove the tale of their children's kidnapping, changing only a few details to make their story believable. When they were done, they were back in their seats, waiting again.

Then, finally, the doctor came back.

"Mrs. Winchester?"

Mary shot to her feet in half a second. "Yes?"

"Ma'am we did a tox screen of your son Dean and found that he had the drug 25 I in his system."

"I don't understand, what is that?"

"It's a hallucinogenic drug that supposedly induces visual hallucinations, euphoria, stimulates creative thinking, pattern recognition, and other effects. Unfortunately it effected your son very differently. The dosage gave him chills, shaking, syncope, vasoconstriction, nausea and vomiting, and seizures. A normal dosage makes the effects last from six to ten hours, but because of the high dosage and the concentration of the drug, we think it may last closer to twelve hours."

"I don't understand, why would they give him this particular drug?"

"The effects of the drug are very similar to acid, but with more negative side effects. If I had to guess I would think that they were using it to make him hallucinate and distort his memories of what happened to him while he was gone."

She nodded numbly, trying to keep her fear off of her face.

Then, he turned to Abrielle.

"Mrs. Shurley, your son was given a small dose of oxycodone. It's a drug used as a painkiller but it can occasionally have the opposite effect and cause pain. It wasn't enough to do any real damage to him, but it was enough to cause him some discomfort and give him a fever. He should be fine in just a few hours."

The words relieved the fear in Abrielle's chest.

"Is he awake?"

"No, not yet. But when he wakes up we'll let you know and bring you in. Okay?"

She nodded. "Thank you, doctor."

He nodded, turned on his heels, and walked out. Mary squeezed her friend's hand.

"I'm glad Cassie's going to be alright." She said, forcing a smile. Abrielle smiled.

"Dean will be too, you know." She said. Her smile widened, but it was a lie and they both knew it.

"I sure hope so." She whispered.

"He will be." She said confidently. For the first time in the history of their friendship, Mary found herself doubting her friend. It wasn't that she didn't trust the doctor, or that she didn't trust her friend. It wasn't her worry about the drugs that was bothering her either.

She was worried about how this kidnapping would effect her son.

For months he had been building this life for himself as a little boy. It had become as second nature to him as hunting. He had found his likes and dislikes, built trust up with his parents and brother, and had made friends and family with the Shurleys. He had opened himself up to a brand new way of living, and it had paid off in every way imaginable.

But now things were different. There was now a darkness covering the joy of rediscovering his childhood. Mary couldn't help but wonder what this would do to his fragile psyche. Would he be able to go back to a normal life after this? More importantly, would he be able to live this life again without being afraid all of the time or seeing himself as a victim? The worry that he could possibly shut the entire thing down and deny such a huge part of who he was terrifying to her. Perhaps it was just her being selfish, but she couldn't let him give it all up now. Not when she finally had her baby back. Not when he was finally happy.

Abrielle had it easier, she felt. More likely than not, Castiel wouldn't remember the experience when he finally emerged from his regressive state.

Then, a thought crossed her mind that chilled her to the bone.

What if the experience catapulted him back even further. Instead of giving it up, he could embrace it even more, until he ended up where his best friend was now. She'd have to take a good hard look at herself in the mirror and ask if that was something she could really handle.

After giving it some thought, she realized that it didn't matter to her how far back he went. In the end, she knew her unconditional love for him would outweigh any setbacks they encountered. She loved him, and he her. At the end of the day, that's what motherhood was all about. No matter what her son decided, no matter what he did or didn't do, he would always be loved by her, and that was enough for the both of them.

"Mrs. Winchester?"

The familiar voice startled her from her thoughts and she looked up. The doctor was standing in front of her with a blue binder in hand.

"Yes?"

"Your son is awake."

"He is?"

"Yes. He's awake and he's asking for you. Screaming is probably the more appropriate term."

Mary's heart missed a beat. "Can I see him?"

"Of course. Follow me."

Smiling, she got up from her seat and followed the doctor to his room.


	18. Part 18

The walk to Dean's room was one of the most difficult treks of Mary's life. Her mind kept replaying how he looked the last time she saw him, and it terrified her. But, unable to stay still anymore, she pressed on. When they got there, the doctor pulled the curtain aside to show her son in restraints, struggling to free himself as he shrieked. The sight destroyed her, and she was instantly beside him, stroking his hair and singing "Hey Jude" in his ear. That quieted his screaming, but he continued to struggle against the restraints. The doctor eyed them a moment before leaving them be. She pulled up a chair and kept talking to him, filling the silence with her words. She kept going, even as her husband and son filtered through at different intervals, refusing to stop when she saw how much her voice comforted him. She could see that he wasn't quite out of the haze yet, but had faith that he would be soon.

Hours ticked by, but she never noticed their passing. She only noticed when her son finally fell asleep. Only then did she stop talking. When she finally looked out the window, she couldn't tell if it was sunrise or sunset. But she stayed with her son, being vigilant at his side as he slept, unwilling to leave him.

It was eight hours after he fell asleep when he finally opened his eyes. He whimpered instantly, disoriented, but was soothed by the familiar stroking of his hair. He looked over to see his mother at his side. The sight calmed him. Mary smiled and scooted closer to her child.

"Hey there baby boy." She whispered, pressing a kiss to his forehead. The motion transported him back a few decades, making him feel four years old again. It wasn't so different from how he normally felt, but this time he was afraid to let it out. He'd been beaten and lashed for it in the short time he'd been away, and it had already conditioned him negatively. But this was his mother- the woman who would accept him no matter what. So instead he curled up next to her and let her talk to him.

The doctor came by, murmuring words he chose not to listen to. He didn't want to be bothered by that now. He'd been in enough hospitals to know the drill. His father and brother came in, talked to him, but he couldn't engage. So he stayed quiet until a police officer came in asking for a statement.

"Do we have to do this now?" Asked Mary as she curved protectively over her child.

"I'm sorry ma'am, but we need his statement."

She nodded, and cajoled her son into talking to him. Dean sat up, trying to ignore his father and brother as he began speaking.

"I was sleeping when it happened. I don't know how he got in without waking us up-"

"Us?"

"Cas and me. I don't know how he got in, but the next thing I knew he was stabbing me in the neck with something. I tried to scream and fight but I couldn't move. They did it to Cas too before they took us away. I don't remember how, but he took us to a van and shoved us in the back. We drove for a long time before they dumped us in a warehouse for a while. There wasn't anybody around for a long time, but when they came back there were four men in ski masks. By then I could move a little. They said we better be good, that we better listen, or we'd get in trouble. And that's when he took off the belt for the first time..." His eyes glazed over at that, as he tried to distance himself from the memory. He hit me for a long time with it. And that's when he made us call you and Aunt Abrielle. And then he went and got the belt again. But when he tried to hit Cas I blocked him. It hurt like crazy but I had to do it..."

"Why?" Asked the officer.

Dean looked up at him, green eyes bright. "Because he's my best friend. That's what we do for each other."

He nodded, urging Dean to continue.

"When he saw I wouldn't let him hurt Cas he stuck another needle in me again, and it made me fall asleep. When I woke up I was in a dark room that smelled awful. I didn't know what happened, but I was chained to a wall. But I saw them dragging Cas away into another room." His voice broke on that, and Mary could see his walls were breaking fast. "I could hear them in the other room. I heard them chaining him up and when they started whipping him, b-but I couldn't stop it... I couldn't..." He couldn't contain his emotions anymore and started to cry. "I'm sorry... I'm sorry... I'm sorry..."

Mary pulled her baby into her arms, hushing him quietly. "Shhh. It's not your fault." She said as a tear ran down her cheek.

"I'm sorry!" He sobbed again.

"Shhh."

"I'm sorry..."

"Shhh. I love you so much." She whispered. "You're my baby boy, and there's nothing you could ever do to make me not proud of you."

"'M sorry..."

"Shhh. It's all over now, baby boy." She soothed. Then, she started singing to him until his huge, gulping sobs quieted to whimpers.

Finally he spoke again. "I didn't see him again after that. But I could hear him crying. When they were done they came in and beat me until I wasn't conscious anymore. I don't know what happened while I was out. When I woke up they did things... bad things... And they made sure I was awake for it."

"What were the bad things, son?" Said the officer in a softer tone, trying to appeal to his childish side. He couldn't say it, not out loud, and certainly not in front of his Mother. But Sam knew. So he whispered in Dean's ear and he nodded in confirmation.

"He was raped." Sam said.

"Is that true?"

Dean nodded, staring straight ahead. He couldn't look at anyone or he knew he'd never finish.

"They took videos. Before they drugged me for the last time. I don't know what they were for though. The last thing I remember was being on the floor. And then I woke up here."

The officer nodded, having recorded everything. He promised the Winchesters that he would catch whoever did this, gave Dean his regards, and then left the room, leaving the family alone in the wake of this new revelation.


	19. Part 19

Turning onto his side, Dean curled up into a ball and stuck his thumb in his mouth. He didn't want to talk anymore. He didn't want to remember anymore. He just wanted to be left alone. So he closed his eyes and tried to go to sleep. Soon enough, his breathing evened out.

John was acutely aware of the tenseness in his wife. Ever since Dean's admission, she had been holding things in. He knew, and only now could she release them. He put a hand on her shoulder.

"You can't hold it in." He said quietly.

"I can't let it out either." It was a robotic reply, devoid of emotion.

"I know."

He went over to his wife and wrapped his arms around her, holding her tightly. He wished he had words to comfort her with, but there were none, no way to put a bandaid over this and make it better. For a while, all was silent.

Then, a knock came at the door. They all looked over to see Abrielle and Chuck standing in the doorway. Both of them looked like they were bone crushingly tired, but smiled anyways. Mary tried to smile at her friend, but failed.

"Hey." She said, unable to think of anything else to say. Abrielle came to sit beside her.

"How is he?"

"He's battered and bruised but his body will heal. I'm not so sure about his mind though."

Abrielle nodded. "I heard what happened."

Mary looked up sharply. The vulnerability in her eyes betrayed her feelings to her friend. Abrielle gently laid her hand over her friend's.

"He saved my baby. I'll never be able to repay him for that. He's a hero." She said quietly.

The words unraveled her, and before Mary knew what was happening she was crying and pulling her friend into a fierce embrace. Soon they were both crying and holding one another, relieved and yet still feeling responsible somehow. They reassured one another that things would be fine and that their boys would be okay while their husbands sat quietly, not daring to say anything. When the two of them pulled themselves together after a while, they started talking quietly, careful not to wake Dean.

"How's Cas doing?"

"He'll be awake in an hour or so. I think he'll be scared more than anything, but he should be alright. Thanks to him." Abrielle said, looking at Dean.

It was just then that Dean's expression turned troubled. He started to toss and turn in his sleep, sweating profusely and murmuring to himself. Abrielle squeezed her friends hand as she tried to calm him without waking him.

Bolting up from his bed, Dean awoke.

Instantly, Mary was beside him, hushing him and trying to get him calmed down. He curled up into her lap and cried.

Sam watched the pair of them, feeling oddly left out and uncharacteristically impotent. He wanted to help his brother somehow, but he didn't know what he could do. Seeing the bond between Dean and their mother always made him vaguely uncomfortable for some reason. Maybe it was because he had never felt the deep hole of her absence the way Dean had, but he never quite knew how to act around her. He loved her- of course he did- but he couldn't help feeling that he didn't fit in this family portrait. Ever since Dean had started this whole life alongside Cas, he had begun to feel out of place there, unsure of what part he was meant to play in all of this. Now, in this hospital room, the acuteness of his estrangement from his family was too much to bear, so he got up and walked out without saying a word.

John, seeing this, switched places with his wife so that she could go and talk to their son.

Mary searched the halls and eventually found her son in one of the waiting rooms, sipping a cup of coffee. She sat beside her son and smiled at him.

"Hey."

"Hey."

"Are you going to tell me what's wrong or am I going to have to pull it out of you?"

Sam smiled a little, but it was definitely contrived. He wasn't sure what to say, how to explain to his mother that he didn't belong anymore.

"I don't fit in our family." He said.

Mary's eyes were lasers, zeroing in on him. "Sammy, of course you do. What makes you think you don't?"

"Things are different now." He said. "You and Dad are around, Dean has a new life, and I don't have a part to play in it all."

"Honey, you do have a part to play. You just haven't figured it out yet. Let me ask you something: when in your life has your role been defined right off the bat?"

He thought about being Lucifer's vessel, about his role in the apocalypse, and his desperate desire to be normal in his family. The answer came immediately: "Never."

"Exactly. Why would it be any different now?"

She had him there. "I know, but one role I've always had is one as Dean's little brother. Now that he's started this new lifestyle I don't know what I'm supposed to do or who I'm supposed to be. Am I even supposed to have a part in that?"

"Do you want one?"

That was the million dollar question. The query at the center of his struggle. Where did he fit in his brother's life now? For so long they'd been a pair, each other's armor and sword. Now he was supposed to suddenly change all that.

Sensing his conflict, Mary put a hand on her son's shoulder.

"He doesn't need you to take on everything for him, or even take care of him. He just needs to know that you love him no matter what he does or who he is."

Sam nodded, thinking.

"Mary!" Called a voice.

Mary whipped around to see her husband running frantically toward her. She was on her feet instantly, going to meet him.

"Dean's having a seizure!"

And then suddenly she was flying through the hallways, making her way to her baby's room. Doctors were surrounding his bed, but she could still see him jerking, see his eyes rolled in the back of his head, see the spittle leaking from his mouth turn red with blood as he bit his tongue too viscously. She put a hand over her mouth, trying not to cry as she held her husband's hand. Why did it always have to be her son? Why couldn't their family just be left alone? A gentle hand rested on her shoulder, and she turned to see Sam's liquid brown eyes staring at her. She could see the fear there, and she wanted to say something to comfort him, but there was nothing that came to mind. So she was quiet.

The doctors injected something into his IV, and he suddenly stopped seizing. The doctors gave the three of them reassures before leaving. Dean's eyes were open, but he clearly wasn't present. But in those eyes Sam saw the truth of it all. He loved his brother more than anything in the world. He would do anything to make him safe and happy. So if this made him happy, he would deal with it. He turned and hugged his parents, surprising them.

He did belong in his family, and he would do whatever it took to protect it.


	20. Part 20

**Author's Note: Sorry for the lack of updates guys! I lost my muse. But I hope you all enjoy this chapter!**

Mary sat at her son's bedside, stroking his hair as he slowly made the transition to consciousness. Blinking slowly, he made a small noise, instantly grabbing her attention.

"Hey there, baby boy."

Clearly groggy, he rubbed his eyes.

"What happened to me?" He asked.

"You had a seizure." She said calmly.

"What?"

"You had a seizure." She said again, enunciating her words more clearly.

"Thass not good." He slurred.

"You're fine now, though."

"Okay."

Mary kissed his forehead gently and he sighed quietly. Then, he noticed his brother standing there, looking worried.

"Hey Sammy. I'm okay. Don't worry 'bout me."

"I always worry about you. You're my brother. It's what we do."

Dean smiled a little at that. "Yeah."

John moved to sit with his wife. "How are you feeling?"

"'m fine. Tired."

"Get some rest." He said in an authoritative voice.

Dean nodded, but before he could obey, a knock came at the door, and Abrielle poked her head in.

"Mind if we come in?" She whispered.

At her voice, Dean smiled. "Hi Auntie Bree."

Mary waved her in, and her best friend went to sit by Dean.

"How's Cassie?" He asked.

"He's okay now. Thanks to you." She said quietly. "I will never be able to thank you for what you did for him. You're a hero."

Dean shifted, uncomfortable with the praise. "I'm not. Not really."

"You are to me. And to him."

"Huh?"

She pointed to the door, and Dean was floored to see his best friend being wheeled into the room on a gurney, completely awake.

As soon as Castiel was in the bed beside him, he reached out and grabbed his hand, the same way he had in the van. Their eyes locked, and Cas squeezed his hand back. But in his eyes, Dean saw something unexpected. The innocence that he had seen in them throughout the last weeks was gone. In it's place was a deep understanding, one indicative of the real Castiel.

"Cas?" He said quietly, worried that he was still hallucinating.

"Dean." His voice was hoarse from all the screaming, but he was audible. It lit Dean up inside to see that he was back. He wanted to say something about it, but he didn't have the words, so he squeezed his hand harder instead. He grinned when Cas squeezed back. And suddenly it was all worth it. Every harsh beating, every scar on his back, even every second of his rape. He'd done it all for this. To save his best friend and to be reunited with his family.

Mary and Abrielle shared a knowing look. They couldn't wait until their boys could go home.

Dean wasn't exactly sure when he fell asleep, but when he woke up he saw that night had fallen outside. His parents were asleep beside him, snoring quietly. Cas was sleeping too, his mother doing the same as she watched over him. The rest of his family was somewhere in the hospital. Dean knew the Shurleys well enough to know that they'd never leave Cas or his mother by themselves for too long. The only person awake besides him was his little brother.

Sam stood up, walking over to his brother's bedside. He'd thought of what he'd say to him, how to explain his former feelings of estrangement from his brother and not belonging to his family, then his realization of wanting to be a part of his family, and finally his acceptance of his brother's life. But when the moment came, there were no words.

"Hey." Dean said quietly. He too was thinking of the past few months, and how far apart they'd been. He wanted there to be a logical reason for his behavior that he could give to his brother, to give to him wrapped up with a bow. But there wasn't one that he could see.

"Hey."

Dean paused, weighing the weight of his words. "I'm sorry." He said quietly. The words came out small.

Sam looked confused. "For what?"

"I didn't mean to shut you out of my life. I was having so much fun living this new life that I didn't see that I was distancing myself from you. I didn't want to hurt you or make you feel like I didn't want you there. I do. I just didn't know if you wanted to be a part of it, and I didn't want you to feel like you had to be." He finished his small speech, looking down at his hands.

"I always want to be a part of your life, Dean."

At that, Dean looked up. "You do?"

Sam nodded. "I didn't want to interfere. This was your thing, and I didn't want to do something or say something to make it about me. So I watched instead. I saw how happy this made you, but I didn't think I was a part of it. I didn't know I wanted to be back then. But now I understand. I want to be in your life, Dean. I don't care what you do or how you act. I'm your brother. I just want you to be happy. Are you happy this way?"

"Yes." The word came out more frightened than he had intended.

"Then I'm happy for you. And I'll do whatever or be whoever you need me to be."

The hope shimmering in Dean's eyes made him look vulnerable, and he tried to tamp it down as he struggled against the two sides inside of him trying to take over. "Really?"

Sam nodded. "Really."

After the words made impact with him, Dean couldn't help himself. The little boy inside of him was leaping for joy, so he got up from his bed and pulled his brother into a warm hug.

"Thank you." Dean said, throat thick with tears.

"Anytime."

"I love you, Sammy."

Sam smiled to himself at the familiar nickname and let the overwhelming feeling of love and acceptance wash over him as he whispered through the lump in his throat,

"I love you too, Dee."

The next three days passed by quickly. Then, Castiel and Dean were deemed healthy enough to go home. Gabriel, Lucifer, and Sam all got together and planned a welcome home party for the both of them. Together, they all planned a party in the bunker, and with Sam's planning skills and Gabriel's magic, it was bound to be a runaway success from the start.

It was noon when Dean and Cas were wheeled into the hall by their mothers, their fathers following behind as they filled out discharge papers. Together, they piled into Abrielle's car, and they sped off toward the bunker, celebrating their homecoming the whole way home.

When they finally arrived, the two of them were eager to get inside, even though they were unaware of the party awaiting them. Dean and Cas opened the door to see the bunker covered in decorations from top to bottom. There were dozens of plates of food, coolers full of drinks, and a table full of desserts. They were confused for a moment until their brothers jumped out and yelled "SURPRISE!"

They stood there dumbfounded for a minute before twin smiles lit up their faces. They hugged their brothers and parents before running off to play together. The brothers kept watch over them while the parents went to sit on the couch, the women sipping wine together and Chuck and John having a beer. When the two of them decided to go into the garage to talk, Abrielle and Mary were left be.

"It feels good to be back on this couch." Abrielle said.

"Amen." Murmured Mary. "It's a little strange though, isn't it?"

"How so?"

"Isn't it odd to not be under constant pressure anymore?"

"Maybe a little. But in a good way."

"I just wish the pressure was completely off."

"We still have to hunt down whoever did this." Abrielle said, completing her thought.

"Yes. Until then, I don't think I'll be able to completely relax."

"Me neither. But we can't let the boys know that."

"I know. But how are we going to do this without their help?"

"We'll find some way."

"We have to. For them."

"For them." Abrielle echoed.

Their conversation drifted into neutral ports for the next hour or two as they vigilantly watched over their children. They were talking about what they were going to do later that evening when they noticed Dean and Castiel starting to yawn. They shared a look, both silently agreeing that it was nap time, when Dean got up and climbed into his Mother's lap, clinging to her as he rested his head on her shoulder.

"I'm tired, Mommy." He murmured.

"Let's get you down for a nap, then." She said, rubbing his back.

Dean shook his head no. "I don't want to go."

Although she knew why, she asked him anyway, knowing how important it was that he felt heard. "Why?"

"It's scary in there." He said, feeling small.

"What if I stayed in there with you? Would that help?"

Dean nodded, burrowing into her neck for warmth. She swept him into her arms and carried him into the nursery, where Abrielle was busy changing her son before putting him into the second crib she had made appear. Castiel was asleep almost as soon as his head hit the pillow, but Dean was awake as his mother gently laid him in the crib. She sang to him for as long as he needed, waiting for him to fall asleep while Abrielle pressed a gentle kiss to her son's forehead. She heard her whisper something inaudible to him before leaving the nursery. When Dean finally fell asleep, she stayed right there by his crib the whole time. When he woke up a couple of hours later, Mary cuddled him close and took him back to the party. However, after his nap there was a marked difference in him. He was much quieter and clingier toward her. When dinner time rolled around not long after his nap, he pushed the plate of food aside.

"I don't wanna eat." He said quietly.

"Why not, baby?"

"My tummy hurts, Mommy." He whined. Mary put a hand to his forehead and felt the warmth that shouldn't have been there.

"You're burning up." She said, picking him up and carrying him to the nursery. She huddled him under his favorite blankets and told him stories while he switched in and out of consciousness. She kept him in bed, and made him tomato rice soup a few hours later in hopes of making him feel better, but the soup just came right back up. The party going on outside ended abruptly, and the Shurley family ended up going home early.

Mary stayed with her son all night long, singing to him and trying to make him smile. Anything she tried to feed him, he threw back up, and it was troubling her on a deeper level than usual. The pattern continued into the next few days, and by then she knew something was very wrong. So she took her son to the doctor's office three days later, but was told that there was nothing wrong with him, other than the slight fever. But Mary knew that this was something more. So she kept taking him to doctors, trying to find a name for this thing hurting her son. They told her dozens of things: that it was a bacterial infection, that he was lactose intolerant, that he had acid reflux, but none of the remedies they gave her to help him worked.

The days had passed by slowly for their entire family. Everyone tried to cheer Dean up, but nothing worked. There were dark circles under his eyes, and his stomach was distended. Mary could practically feel her son slipping away, and it frightened her. She knew she had to do something fast. But for now it was just past midnight, and she needed some sleep.

Meanwhile, in the nursery, Dean was sleeping peacefully when a sudden pain shot through his stomach, waking him up. His eyes flew open at the intensity of it all. He'd been stabbed, whipped, shot, tortured in hell by the best of the best, but this... Nothing felt like this. He rolled over onto his side, trying not to cry as the pain flared up. He knew that as soon as the pain got too intense for him he wouldn't be able to speak anymore, and by the looks of things that wouldn't take much longer. He had to yell while he had the chance. Tears came streaming down his face as he cried out.

"Mommy! Mommy!"

Mary jerked awake in her bedroom, hearing her son calling for her through the baby monitor. She was used to it now, his midnight trips to the bathroom, but this was more than that. She heard the terror in his voice and it chilled her to the bone. She turned to her husband and shook him awake.

"John, John wake up. Something's wrong with Dean."

When she knew he was up, she bolted to the nursery. She could hear his screams echoing throughout the bunker, and it broke her heart.

"Mommy!" He shrieked again.

"I'm coming! I'm coming!" She called. She burst into the nursery and flipped on the light to see her son lying in his side, crying curled up in a ball in his crib. She yanked down the side bar of the crib and knelt down to his level.

"Baby, what's the matter?" She asked, frantic.

"It hurts, Mommy!" He sobbed.

"Your tummy?"

He nodded, and she called for her husband again before turning to Dean again.

"Don't worry, baby boy. It'll be okay. I'm going to fix it as soon as I can. I promise."

He cried, and she rushed to get him dressed. When John finally came in, she barked at him to call Abrielle and then rushed to get herself dressed. In a record two minutes, she was dressed, and running back into the nursery. Her son was screaming and sobbing desperately. She lowered down the side of the crib and pulled him into her arms, hushing him and rocking him gently. She picked him up in an adrenaline fueled frenzy and bolted to the car. She didn't care if John wasn't there yet, nor did she care if Abrielle had been contacted. She bolted to the hospital.

She carried her son through the emergency room doors, not caring how it looked, and begged for help. It was when the doctor's whisked him away and she had nothing left to do that she finally cried.


	21. Part 21

Approximately forty five minutes later, John and Sam Winchester entered the emergency room area. John sat beside his wife, who looked like she'd been hit by a truck, and held her hand. Sam sat on her other side, quiet and contemplative as he wondered what was happening to his brother. Abrielle Shurley arrived not long after, and immediately hugged her best friend.

"I'm sure Dean will be fine." She said reassuringly. Mary shook her head.

"No... I don't think so... Not this time..." She whispered as a single tear leaked from her eye and trailed down her cheek. She could not explain the horrifying knowing that came with the words. John and Sam exchanged worried looks, but said nothing.

Time passed by achingly slowly. With every passing moment Mary felt her sanity and her hope slipping away.

Finally, the wait was over.

"Mr. And Mrs. Winchester?" Called a nurse.

Mary shot up to her feet, gripping her husband's hand like a vice. The two of them followed the nurse to a Secluded room with two couches in it. A doctor with rimmed glasses, a bald head, and twinkling blue eyes sat in front of them.

"Mr. and Mrs. Winchester, my name is Doctor Gulburg. I operated on your son."

"Is he okay?" Mary asked, voice riddled with fear.

"Your son had several clots in his stomach. That's what caused the severe stomach pain."

"You got rid of them, right?"

"I did." He said. "I did."

Mary felt a qualification coming. "...But?"

"Your son has a serious disease. pseudo-obstruction motility disorder. It's a stomach disorder that doesn't let his body break down food."

Mary felt the air get knocked from her lungs. "What?" The word was breathy and almost inaudible.

"He can't keep food down, so he'll be restricted to tubal feeding for now."

"Is there a cure?" Asked John.

"...No."

Mary felt the room spinning around her. It was too stifling in the room.

"Excuse me please." She said, shooting to her feet and running to the nearby restroom, where she was violently ill.

Doctor Gulburg gave some more explanation to John before he gave him some time to process what was happening. Not wanting to think about it anymore, he went over to the heavy wood door, behind which was a single stall bathroom behind where his wife was crying.

He knocked.

"Please John... Please go away." Mary Sobbed.

"Why don't you come out, honey?" He said solemnly. "You shouldn't be by yourself right now."

"Please, I just can't be around anyone right now. I have completely failed our son." She sniffed.

"You didn't fail him." Said John.

"Of course I did! I'm his mother, I'm supposed to protect him!"

"There's no way you could have been able to protect him from this." He said gently.

She knew that logically he was right, but her heart and emotions defied any and all logic.

"Please just go..." she said.

John sighed, and started to pick the lock.

He opened the door to see his wife a crying mess on the floor. He wrapped his arms around her, and was quiet.

After twenty minutes, they both got up from the bathroom floor and made their way out of the room. The nurse took them to Dean's room. He was fast asleep. The two of them gripped each other's hands tightly, and went back out to tell Sam.

Sam had kept a sharp eye out for his parents. When he caught sight of them after a seemingly endless wait, he knew instantly it was bad. His father looked like he'd been given a cold slap of reality. Usually so strong, he seemed frightened and weary. And his mother... she looked like she'd taken a beating. Her eyes were red rimmed from crying, and she looked so weak and fragile, like a porcelain doll. Easily broken.

Sam stood up. "What happened? Is he okay?"

Mary started to cry again. John looked at her worriedly before turning to his son.

"He has a rare stomach disorder... his body can't break down food..."

"What?" Asked Sam in shock.

"He'll have to be fed through a tube..."

"Dean?" He asked, not sure if he'd heard correctly.

"Yes."

The idea dumbfounded Sam. His big brother had been killed, mauled, stabbed, shot, possessed by demons, and tortured countless times. It seemed impossible that a simple stomach disorder could incapacitate him so completely.

Abrielle pulled her best friend into a hug, guilt and sadness bubbling up inside her. She could remember when Castiel had his bout with intussusception, and how powerless she had felt. She knew her friend felt the same. She saw the dark circles under Mary's eyes. This illness was already taking a toll on her. Abrielle could swear she'd lost some weight, and she was sure Mary wasn't sleeping. She searched for the right words to say to comfort her, but she knew there weren't any.

When Abrielle let her go, Mary found herself wandering the halls back to Dean's room. She didn't want to leave him the moment she saw him, but Sam had needed to hear the truth. Now, as she entered her son's room, she knew she wasn't going to leave. She planted a kiss on her son's forehead.

"It's going to be okay sweetheart. I'm right here. Mommy's going to stay here with you."

She sat next to him and stared at him. There were dark circles under his eyes, and he was pale as a ghost. A feeding tube was in his nose, and she felt nauseous at the idea that that would become a new normal for him.

He stirred and whimpered in his sleep. Mary hushed him and kissed his forehead gently. He calmed down and she smiled a little. She could feel her husband and son staring at her, but she was too wrapped up in her son to care.

Dean's eyes fluttered open, and he looked at her blearily.

"Mommy?" He asked, confused.

"Yes sweetheart?" She asked, stroking his hair.

"Why can't I eat? I wanta eat." He murmured.

A wash of sadness came over Mary's face, and Dean looked scared suddenly. Had he made his mommy sad?

"You're sick right now, baby. Go back to sleep now. It'll be better when you wake up." She promised.

"'Kay..." he said, falling asleep once more.

As soon as she heard the quiet snores of her son, she let the tears she'd been holding back flow free.


End file.
